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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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Getting by @Lee82 Work is hectic but need to get things done ...and it is probably keeping my head above water right now so have to be grateful for small mercies.

Love to you, @Former-Member and everyone else visiting this thread

In response to: Darkness

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@Lee82 wrote:

@Eve7 I am so sick of being here. I want out!! Feel like nothing is working. I am just frustrated and upset.


So sorry to hear, @Lee82 😞

Sending you gentle hugs and

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Day 3 post wedding and my body is just not working. The wedding day was perfect for the bride and groom, their little flower girl and page boy (two of their kids) where perfectly behaved. It all went smoothly and I would say according to plan but they didn't have one, that it went so well still amazes me. Between me and hubby we got over 500 photos of the day amd probably about half of them will be sent to the happy couple. I had a new med on board and it kept me calm enough to see it through to the tossing of the bouquet and we left within 10 minutes of that. I will see what photos I can share for those interested. As for me now, I knew it would take its toll but I wasn't expecting this. I just can't function, I am in my craft room most of the day but it's sleeping not much crafting happening. I will do the next step on something then lay down for a while then I repeat that all day. I just finished getting all my "fails" wrapped up to be stripped. Normally this would have taken about 20 minutes but it was 90 today. Now I am having a drink and about to nap again.

I hope you all know how much I miss every single one of you. Holding on to the hope you are all doing as well as you can right now. Sending you all some love and huge hugs.

Mel, hey babe missing you so so very much. Worried about you as well, it is so strange to not know what is happening with and for you. Please remember you have a huge part of my heart and I love you dearly @Lee82

The picture above is my fails, almost a whole

roll of foil and paper towel plus 600mls of acetone later!!!

My neighbour made the cake and I made the topper

She looked stunning in her dress. I gave that to her it was the one I wore to marry hubby. Suits her so much better.

@NatureLover @Zoe7 @Eve7 @Bunniekins @Emelia8 @Anastasia @outlander @Shaz51 @Maggie @Schitzo @MDT @Sans911

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thank you for tagging me my @Former-Member

ohhh can not wait to see all the pictures xxx

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@Former-Member Hey hunny cannot wait to see the other photos when they come up. So good to hear from you. Ty for keeping the pea in your tags. Love you. peaxxx

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Good onya @Former-Member
Its nice to hear from you friend:)

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Sorry that you are struggling now @Former-Member . Sending lots of ❤️♥️💓💞

Piccies look beautiful x

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@Former-Member @Lee82 💕❤

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Hey beautiful I am so so so happy you were able to enjoy your nephews wedding and the bride looked soooo beautiful in her wedding dress. That is a gorgeous dress hun. The cake looked amazing too. Did you make it to the birthday party after the wedding?
I am so glad to hear that you are back in your paint room even if things are taking a little longer than usual. Baby steps babe.
I truly hope each day brings you just a tiny bit more peace and you are slowly improving your even if it microscopic. Love you to the moon and back my beautiful BFF

missing you so damn much. 😢

@Former-Member

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@outlander How have things been babe? I am so sorry I haven't had the capacity to keep up with everyone's news lately. I feel so very much out of the loop. Just know you are always in my thoughts. ❤️

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