Darkness

@Lee82 Been a really full on week here Hon. Had meetings, appointments and loads of work to get done. It was a better day with our class today but it is only going to get busier over the next couple of weeks - have a lot of assessments to do before writing reports so feeling a little overwhelmed but it has to be done.

My hand is okay - knocked it at work this morning and it really hurt for a while - just need to be more careful.

Tobes and Cat are doing well - Cat's latest blood tests were good so she isn't having a reaction to the chemo meds - so relieved. Toby's mouth is still a litte swollen but is healing okay too.

Sending you a whole load of love and some squishy hugs - it sounds so hard for you but I am also glad you are where you can receive the best possible care

Staying busy can be a good thing most of the time but just remember to leave some time to self care. I know you are really good at prioritising things and knowing when you need to rest so I know you got this babe. It is definitely coming to the busiest times of the year.
the next 2 months for me are the worst time of the year and so I have to be careful. A hell of a lot of past trauma comes flooding back together with a lot of ptsd and panic attacks. I'm not too sure how long I will be in here for. There has been no talk of an end date. I wish I knew so I would have a date to work towards. My dark thoughts are consuming me and I am finding it very difficult to stay positive. I am at a loss. I am frustrated because I see zero progress. I'm really scared because I feel like I am too broken to be able to be put back together.

I am so glad and happy to hear that Cat is responding to chemo well and that Tobes is doing a little better.
@Zoe7 ❤️💜💙

I hope tomorrow is better for you @Lee82

Big hugs

💙🤗💙

@Lee82 Take care of you Hon and let those around you do the same - you deserve that support and care

Thanks @Eve7 hope you are ok.

Same with you too hun. Take care of you.
@Zoe7

I’m in hospital too @Lee82 . This is my 4th week but I’m going ok.

I'm so sorry to hear that hun. It's not the greatest place to be is it. How do you find things are going for you @Eve7? Do you have any idea when you will be going home?

I was told I’d be in for 6 weeks minimum and I’m aiming for that. Sometimes I think I’m a bit better but I don’t know if I’m just imaging that because I want to be well again.

I started ECT again this week and fingers crossed 🤞 it works.

I don’t like the groups so much but pdoc insists...sigh.

Staff are good but it’s hard being in here @Lee82 and I feel over medicated.

Do you go to groups?

Yea 6 weeks is a long time. That is how long I was in hospital last time which was around 3 years ago. I had ECT then too. Did you find that your first ect didn't work well?
I absolutely hate groups too and yes I have to at least attend 2 a day. Staff are really nice here too.
I feel over medicated too. Feel like I am a walking zombie these days.

@Eve7

I won’t have to dress up for Halloween this year as I feel like a zombie too lol @Lee82

I had a lot of ECT earlier this year and I don’t think it helped much but this time something feels different. I just hope it stays that way.

Hopefully our bodies will get used to the meds soon.

We have some social groups here too like facials, manicures, cooking but pdoc wants me to attend the psychotherapeutic groups instead. I don’t contribute much but they’re not too bad.