Darkness

@Lee82 You may not get this until tomorrow now Hon but leaving it here for you now anyway...

I do understand that feeling of someone slipping away - it is heartbreaking but also not necessarily the case. We all have times that we need to prioritise ourselves and as hard as that is when we have formed such close bonds and friendships here it is essential for us all. That does often mean we feel a sense of loss but there is always a spae in our heart for our friends and we also hold space here for when they return. That may also mean we have to re-adjust our own expectations of both ourselves and our friends and find ways to protect ourselves when that space is waiting to be filled. I do however have no doubt at all that @Former-Member is thinking of you as you are for her. You two share a special bond - I have seen it a few times here on the forum and it is both beautiful and scary at the same time. Beautiful because you have connected so closely but scary because our virtual friends can come and go and sometimes we have no answers when we need them. That is when your forum family step in for you Hon - we all hold that space for our friend to return and not only welcome her back but rejoice that she is back. Please look after yourself first though @Lee82 - we cannot be our best selves and function when our hearts are hurting or our minds are taking us to the darkest of places. Concentrate now on what you can control, your own family and yourself as number 1 ....and we will be here when you need to support you through. Hugs and hugs and hugs dear Lee82 - we got you

Hey @Lee82

I can see how much you care for the wellbeing of DizzyIzzy and want to hear how she is doing. It's hard to sit with this kind of unknown. I'm glad to see you recognise the need to take care of yourself first, as DizzyIzzy is doing for herself now. I hope you can find some comfort while sitting in this space. Please know we are all here for you ❤️

Warmest,

Sphinxly 🐣

My love, I am so sorry for the stress my absence is causing you, please know that you are always and I mean always on my mind and in my heart. I knew that this would be a tough weekend but I truly didn't think it would be this bad. We had my friends wake on Saturday afternoon and I only managed about 30 minutes again. I know his wife and kids understand but I felt so selfish when I had to leave. I have been giving myself such a hard time over the fact that I can support them the way I would expect of myself. Saturday after the wake I did pop in to let you know how it was but I stared at the blank page and couldn't get the words out. Slept Saturday away then and yesterday well I went around in circles not doing much at all. There is a lot I want to say but best leave that for another post. I hope today is a little easier for you. Love you 3000 and so very much more Mel. Please please do what you need to do you can start feeling even a little better. Talk to you very soon sweetheart @Lee82

I am so so so so so sorry my love. I didn't know that your friends wake was this Saturday. My thoughts were just sending me crazy. I have to learn how to not listen to them so much. I can imagine how tough the weekend would have been for you. I felt your pain hun that's why I was so very worried.
honey please don't be to hard yourself. You went and paid your respects no matter if that was for 5 minutes, half an hour or 4 hours. The main thing is you went. His family would have been so grateful you were able to be there.
To be completely honest with you I am not doing so well at all.

Sending you all my love beautiful and keeping you close to my heart and In my Thoughts ❤️
@Former-Member

Hey @Zoe7 I know you are probably at school at the moment but I have only half hour left and I'm lot sure if I will get my phone back tonight. I just wanted to thank you so much for your thoughtful message. It helped to put things into perspective a little for me which is what I needed. So thank you for that hun. I just can't control much at the moment like my thoughts and actions and worries etc. being in here is tough because I have nothing but time to think and that is a very leathal thing for me.
I hope you have had a good day today hun and that tomorrow is a new and improved day for you.
take care of you. ❤️

Hey @Lee82 I totally get that 'too much time to think' thing Hon - it is not an easy place to be sitting for you. That is possibly the hardest thing about being somewhere where you cannot occupy your time - the thing you are trying to get away from is all that you have and that is incredibly hard. As I suggested with the letter - could you begin writing it all down ...aware that that might also be harder and more triggering though so disregard if that is the case.

Aternoon/evening friends, well that is Monday done and again not much got sorted today. The christmas presents in my paint room are sitting and not getting done as quickly as I would like because of lack of energy and drive. Whenever I touch something I manage to mess it up, so I am not game to do to much.

Very much hoping that you all are well as you can be, wishing you all a peaceful night. Sending you all some love, light and peace to help you through this week.

@Lee82 , @Emelia8 , @Zoe7 , @Anastasia , @outlander , @Bunniekins , @Sans911 @NatureLover , @Shaz51 @Maggie @MDT , @Fluttershy1 @Schitzo

Mel, listening to our playlist and missing you like crazy

Hello beautiful @Former-Member

thank you for your message, always thinking of you hun xox

Hello @Lee82

I hope today has beeen a better day sweets xox

Hi everyone xox

@Former-Member You have a hell of a time of it lately Hon so give yourself the space you need before you tackle those christmas presents again. When everything seems so hard and has been so full on for us it does feel like everything we touch will get messed up but you are very talented with your paintings and having a little time and space can help to find our heart and headpace for getting stuck into it again. It will happen when it does and I have no doubt it will all be amazing