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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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Re: Darkness

I am always here for you hun.
❤️ @Emelia8

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Poor cat, I hope you get some positive news @Zoe7 , am thinking of you 💜

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Poor cat I truly hope you can pick her up soon and give her cuddles. Let me know when she is home.
Speaking like a true and wonderful teacher hun. Thanks for that idea. It may be something Mr9 would be interested in but Mr13 is very unique and is very nerdy liking his ps4 games. 😕 I have to force him every single day to go outside and soend some time exercising. He is into reading and coding and things like that. Mr9 is extremely sporty and loves spending all his time outside the only problem is he wants me out there with him but I can't do that right now because every time I try and go outside I have a panic attack. 😞 it doesn't help either that the boys no longer want to go to their dads which is where they should be going this weekend. It breaks my heart everytime I force them to go. I can't do that anymore so they won't be going for a while which means I get zero break from being mum and everything else that goes with being a mum. No time for myself no time to try and self care and reenergise.
@Zoe7

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💜 @Lee82 💜

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Oh @Lee82 that is really tough but I know from previous conversations how hard it is for you to send the boys when they do not want to go. Not having any time to yourself is no good but your kids are lucky enough that you care so much for them to both recognise and and stop the visits for their own wellbeing - thatright there is a sign of a great Mum. Mr13 can occupy himself it seems - maybe Mr9 could organise an obstacle course for himself outside and take some photos that you can both put together when he is back inside.

In response to: Re: Darkness

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@Anastasia @Lee82 Still waiting to hear from the vet but taking that as a good sign that she is in recovery. They would call straight away if anything happened so thinking positive. She will need lots of cuddles when she is home and I will lay her on her on my bed and wrap the doona around her so she feels safe and comfortable.

In response to: Re: Darkness

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Obstacle course sounds fun @Zoe7 @Lee82

You are both good mummas 🤗

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So are you Hon - do not forget that @Anastasia

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I think the same too hun. No news is good news.
Mr9 and I have baked some cookies and we have played a little basketball in the backyard.
@Zoe7

In response to: Re: Darkness

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So well done for getting outside @Lee82 That is a massive achievement considering how you were feeling this morning 👍

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