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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

When do you have to go and have an X-ray and ultrasound on you knee hun? What are they thinking is wrong with it?

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Good morning sweetie, I am sorry that you are so sore this morning. I have it done on Monday, I can't remember what she said she thought was wrong as she wanted to seen me for an MIR amd I had a small meltdown because I can't do them. @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh that's good not too far away. Could they have mentioned your anterior cruciate ligament or ACL?
im so sorry you had a meltdown hun. Is it the fact that it's done in a small space that you don't like?

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Yeah I don't do small spaces, I have had one in the past amd it didn't go well at all. She may have mentioned ACL but I am really not sure. Amy plans for today my love. @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

No plans really but I am going to need to go to the shops at some stage. what about you?
hun would it be ok if I spoke to you about something? It's ok if It's too much right now I completely understand. No pressure.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I am here and listening Mel. Love you @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I feel like I am going crazy. I keep seeing my old neighbour everywhere I go but I don't know if it's my mind playing tricks on me or if it's real. I don't know what to do. I am petrified to leave my house. I have no one else to talk to about this I'm sorry I really don't like to burden you with my :pile_of_poo: but this is really affecting me a lot.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

To be honest there is no one else I would rather talk to about this than you my love I just feel bad cause I know you have your own :pile_of_poo: going on.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Please don't feel bad Mel, this is what bbf's are for. You need to remember that I am here for you no matter what. I had a good five hours sleep and am feeling ok. Please talk to me. @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

All these feelings and emotions from my past are all coming back to haunt me. I feel like I have stepped back in time and I am the petrified teenager I was back then. How can I determine if what I am seeing is real or not? And if it is real I am too afraid to do anything about it but if it isn't real does that mean I am hallucinating? If it isn't real why is it happening to me? Either way I don't feel safe at all.

@Former-Member
@Former-Member

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