Darkness

Good morning pea, I hope your Wednesday is kind to you. @Bunniekins

@Former-Member Good morning DizzyIzzy hoping your Wednesday is kind to you my friend. Take care. peaxxx

Are you ok my love?
I am so sorry for worrying you.
@Former-Member ❤️

It's not your fault honey, shouhld have known better then to jump on here in that moment as I was in a heightened state of fear, I have no idea what triggered but everyone I love was in danger and I had to mak sure every still one was safe.

Do you know what caused your meltdown at the shops yesterday @Lee82

I'm not sure but I think it was a smell. I believe I smelt a certain aftershave and it triggered me. It's a little fuzzy at the moment. I don't remember how I got out of the shop and how I got home. I even had groceries in my car. I don't even if I spoke to anyone. I belive I have lost about an hour or so.
now I have a massive headache and my jaw is so damn sore from clenching so much.
@Former-Member

Oh that is not good good lossing time hun, I am too aware of how distressing that can be. It is amazing though how a sent can do that. I am not sure if I told you but I had the same thing last Friday. After Nat's we stop at a Servo to get some food and while hubbby was inside geting it I got hit with ascent I couldn't stop inhaling it but I didn't know who or what it reminded me kf. Then on Sunday night it folllwed me are ok the house it took some time bt then I remembered it was the aftershave my grandad was werin whe. I saw him alive for the last time and that is not a happy memory as I lied to him about having to leave and that I would come see him next week. We had run into each other at my gramsd ma nursing home I miss then ski much my loove @Lee82

So sorry hun. I fell back asleep. My head feels like it's going to explode.
I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather hun. I miss my grandparents so very much too. No you hadn't mentioned what happened last Friday. I'm sorry you experienced that. It is absolutely horrible my love.
you cannot hold that one bad memory as if it defines your relationship with your grandfather my love. He knows you loved him very much and I'm sure you have hundreds of great memories with him. You need to remember those. Hold onto those. You smelling his scent is his way of saying that he is watching over you babe. That he is close by always.
Are you ok hun? Your message seemed like you were about to have a panic attack.
I love you so very much beautiful and I wish I could be by your side.
@Former-Member

Hey hun. I am so sorry I have been a little absent lately. I hear that you have been struggling lately. How is your boy doing hun? How you are doing?
I am thinking of you babe and hoping that things get better for you soon.
@Anastasia

sending you love and hugs ❤️💜❤️💜

Hello @Lee82

thank you for your message. Yes it's been a bit turmulous but today is slightly brighter and I haven't been engaging as much for that I am sorry. You too are struggling, I am sad to see. No need to apologise I do understand and I have no expectations around responses, support etc. I am grateful and I understand that some days it's just too much to interact. Please know that I am always here if you want to reach out. I have actually finished my diamond painting and now waitng on more to arrive with the lan to use as Christmas presents. I found it to be quite theraputic and so thank you so much for letting me know it exists. @Former-Member one day I plan on having a room like yours where I can escape to and create. I am looking forward to seeing your Christmas gifts if you feel like sharing down the track. Happy day to you and anyone else passing through too 🙂 @Bunniekins @NatureLover @Zoe7 @Eve7

You know having such a perceptive BBF is not always a good thing... Yeah it had just started, I was outside without my headphones when an ambulance siren went off complete meltdown. I have lots of good memories of grandad and grandma they where my rock and I knew I was their favourite grandchild

How are you doing my love? @Lee82

@Anastasia I will definitely share when they are done and maybe even some progress pics too. Other then my boat load of Christmas gifts I have my very first commission paint pour to do over three canvases and I am working on a special project for my forum family as well. I told @Lee82 that there would be no sneak peaks or hints but I feel like teasing her a little so maybe I will show you both where I am up to with the practise canvas.