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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

So good to hear sweets. I hope your day at work is an easy one for you.
sending hugs your way ❤️💚💜💙🧡💛

@Anastasia

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Lee82 @Former-Member

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thank you my love. I am thinking of you hun hoping you are ok. remember I am here if you need to talk. Holding your hand and sending you all my love ❤️
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

What a day! I have a new psychologist and she is wonderful but we are only 2 visits in but usually I am good at first impressions so here is hoping she is a keeper. In today's session she asked more questions about my past and family then my previous one did in 15 plus years of seeing her. So a pretty rough session overall. Then from there I had an appointment with Nat, with only and hour between and it's a 45 minute drive from one to the other. We where chatting and getting into some really hard parts and it's hard because it's about self worth and well hmmmm anyway. Now something happened that made me feel like I was going to be physically right there in her room a small panic attack which Nat handled like a pro. I do really want to tell you all everything but I am aware that it may be a huge trigger for others. I sit in the same chair every time I am there, Her books on her shelves never change expect one in the middle of the third shelf, it was not that book one of the others that never change. I was sitting there and a of sudden I noticed a word on one of her books and for some reason for the first time ever ( I have seen this word and typed this word a million times) I noticed that if you took of the first three letters it left a word that triggered me big time. Sorry its so cryptic as I know how annoying that is for me but I wont risk triggering any of my family as I can now not even think of the word with want to be physically sick. I am beyond drained tonight, child alters are a real mess, Izzy is in rage (thought that was my job) Bear is wanting to be present to shower more times then really needed, Shadow is delighted in today's outcome as we are feeling really low and want to crawl under a rock and stay there.

Love to you all

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh wow honey what a massive day you have had. I am so grateful that you had enough energy in you to let your forum family know about your day.
thank you so very much for that beautiful. I'm so sorry you have a lot on shoulders again hun with all the alters and Izzy. Please let Izzy know that I love her so very much.
My fingers are crossed for you my love hoping that this new psychologist is the right fit for you. Sounds like you and her are heading in the right direction.
Has the switching slowed?
I hope you can get a good rest tonight hun after such an exhausting day.

love you 3000 nikki ❤️
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

💜❤️ @Former-Member ❤️💜

You've got this hun

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey my beautiful friend. How you doing sweets? I am very worried about you and I am hoping you are doing ok.
always in my mind and I love you unconditionally, always and forever ❤️
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I am safe my love, just completely exhausted and all I am doing is sleeping. I wake for a drink then back to sleep. Yesterday was very rough and we are not handling it well at all.

How are you holding up? Sorry I am not here much. Always thinking of you. Love you heaps @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Just dropping in to say I am thinking of you @Former-Member xox

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@Lee82 ❤️❤️❤️

@Anastasia thanks lovely

@outlander @Bunniekins @Zoe7 @Eve7 @Emelia8 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

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