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Something’s not right

Darkness

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2020, 7:03 pm AEST

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

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In response to: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor25 Apr 2020, 10:36 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

I hope so too...😞

@outlander

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor25 Apr 2020, 10:40 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

ill keep my fingers crossed for you @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor25 Apr 2020, 10:44 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Thanks @outlander I will too for you for Monday.
Outlander will we ever see daylight again? I wonder will things ever get better or is this it and we just have to learn to live with it.

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor25 Apr 2020, 10:53 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

thanks @Lee82

i believe we all go through our ups and downs. some downs are more extreme then others . i have been at the point of attempting suicide before, SHing more times then i i can count in a day but i haven't tried to attempt in over a yr and i went 6 months without self harming so i think things can get better but it does take work and unfortunately there will be relapses from time to time where we need to get ourselves back up and hit a new low before working back up. try not to give up though. try to accept the help that's offered even if its the last thing you want, rest your mind, body and soul. we here often call it survival mode and 'floating' meaning instead of fighting and fighting we try to just accept things for what they are, if it means watching tv all day till we feel ok to get up then that's ok too. go back to basics and focus on those like getting enough sleep, some routine (getting up and going to bed at the same time, try to have meals at the same time) ensuring your eating and drinking, some exercise and practicing hygiene. right now that's what matters-getting through the day the best you can.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor25 Apr 2020, 11:04 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Thank you so much @outlander

that was some very powerful words.
It sounds to me like you have come a very long way. I admire your strength and will to carry on. 💜 I hope that one day I can think the same way

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor25 Apr 2020, 11:24 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Your welcome @Lee82
Coming to the forums basically helped save my life and although i have some very dark and down days i can see the positives now unlike before.
I hope that youll find being here helpful too and learn some good skills to manage this blasted mental illnesses
💌🌷

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor25 Apr 2020, 11:30 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

I hope so too...one thing I can say is the amount of support and care I found on this forum is next to nothing. I have felt so alone in this journey for so long but since being on here I no longer feel so alone. The one and only positive I have to hold on to for now. @outlander

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor25 Apr 2020, 11:37 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Im glad to hear that @Lee82 we are with you every step of the way 💖
Same for @Former-Member too im aware shes having quite a difficult time atm too and hope that the darkness will pass soon 💞

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor25 Apr 2020, 11:37 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Too prn about 2 hours ago and nothing is happening. I know I'm not going to be allowed to take another and the nights scare the s**t out of me. 😞

@outlander

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor25 Apr 2020, 11:40 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

I dont sleep till about 1/2am so ill be up for a while yet if talking helps.
Can you light a nice smelling candle or leave the tv on for background noise? One of mine is leaving the fan on low and diffusing essential oils like lavender (which is a soother oil). Maybe something like that might help you.. @Lee82

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Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.