Darkness

Enjoy yourself babes

love you to the moon and back. ❤️

@Former-Member

Hey sweets. How did dinner go?
@Former-Member

Are you still around @Lee82

Lol, we must have been typing at the same time. They have just left and it was lovely. He son and gf are a bit full on they both on the autism spectrum with other mental health issues and can either be full one or quiet as f*** tonight it was full on, so it was a long two hours. Now the kids are texting me 😭😭😭😭😭 exh2 kept them occupied so we could talk but I didn't handle their noise too well tonight.

How is your night going @Lee82

Lol...yea I think we must have been texting at the same time.
Great you had a nice time babe but I can imagine it would have been difficult to handle and concentrate when they are loud and full on. I have an autistic cousin so I know what that can be like.
Still not feeling the best babe. I couldn't talk about it before but I kept having flashbacks and it was hard to distract myself m. I think that is what set off my heightened senses.
@Former-Member

how you feeling tonight babe?

Do you want to talk about how you are doing right now sweetie?

I am doing ok, sil and I talked about what's been happening for me as I have kept her and mum in the dark about. It felt good to be almost as honest as I am here. Obviously I left out the issues with exh2 and last nights issues as she is very anti her body her choice as she struggled to get her one child. Didn't want to push her buttons.

Love you to the moon and back @Lee82

Sorry Mr8 woke up and I had to put him back to bed.

@Former-Member

That is so great babe that you were able to talk openly about what's been going on for you lately. Means more support for you babe. How did it go?

My anxiety is tiring babe. My skin is still very sensitive. Even a blanket feels uncomfortable. I don't think sleep is going to come anytime soon yet again. It's just one big vicious cycle. Everyday and every night is the bloody same. So over it

Well, you can get on top of it once Mr8's appointments are done. I need you to promise me that you will seriously consider all options of helping yourself (including hospital) once he is taken care off. For now I am wishing I had something to help you.
All I can do for tonight is to hang out with you untill one of us falls asleep.

To be honest, I am having trouble working out weather I told her almost everything to have her understand or to try and push her away. I am good at oversharing if it pushes people away. I have never really showed my true self as I find me so disappointed and disgusting that I wear the mask that best suits that person or situation. Sorry probably to full on right now babes. @Lee82

Babe you being here for me helps more than you know. I can't thank you enough for everything you do for me babe. I kind of feel like I don't deserve it.
@Former-Member

I completely get it babe. I do the same thing. I wear a different mask depending on who it is I am with. It gets tiring though sometimes but it's how I hide what is truly going on for me. If they knew the truth they would run so fast I wouldn't even see it coming. At least she has an understanding now what's been going on for you. You can't control how people react to this sort of information. That is on them completely.

Please😞😞😞 dont start the I don't deserve it crap because if I said that you, you would jump all of me. Honey, your support and friendship has stopped me from sh so many times. Most recently in the last ten minutes, because I know I would be honest with you about it and I didn't to disappoint you or add to your stress.

You didn't promise me

The wearing of masks is so exhausting and I still do it everyday. I am tried of it, an over the struggle @Lee82