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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh wow that's fantastic @outlander although I'm sure you were sad to see them go it must feel like a little weight has been lifted from your work load.
plus the owners are probably very happy to have them back.
how you doing with looking after the kids? Has that work load lessened?

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

good to see you @Emelia8

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

It is so lovely to see you back @Emelia8 . Hoping you are feeling somewhat better hun. We definitely missed you while you were away but you were never far from my thoughts.
💐❤️💐

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

atm no, looking after the kids have increased. one in particular because we are in the middle of finding her a new school but cause of her age i cant just leave her in the car or get her to help with much. so today i had them from 7am till 530 tomorrow i have one to take to school and then the other one till about lunch time. i bloody hope a school is sorted out by like tomorrow or wednesday at the very least cause i cant watch them all day every day till its sorted out. ive already cancelled 3 appts because i cant just leave her in the waiting room and no ones around to watch her so had to cancel.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh geez @outlander. I truly hope a school gets sorted out very soon too for your sake. Cancelling your appointments is terrible cause I know how hard it is to get them rescheduled.
so what happens during school holiday hun? Do you have all of them all day everyday?

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

um pretty much @Lee82
whenever mum or her partner isnt at work then they generally have them but usually they work everyday (except some weekends) for at least a few hours. my other sister will help here and there but they argue alot esp when home alone cause the older one is really dominant-generally only at home though.
but she also works most weekends and through the school holidays usually 2 extra days as well so 4 out of the 7 days she works.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Far out that is a lot on your shoulders hun. I never understood why people have kids and then go off to work every single day leaving them with others to pretty much raise them. Were you looked after by others when you were younger too?
@outlander

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

my mother was a young mother (under 18) @Lee82 so she had alot of help from her parents which is why my nan and i were so close. she looked after me but still had quite abit of freedom as well.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh wow...that's pretty amazing @outlander

I wish that you and your mum had a close relationship hun.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

yeh @Lee82 but atm its ok
i learnt i ruined alot when i was brought into the world and even more when i tried to end things so i will have to work on that relationship.
i dont reall feel like i need a good relationship with her anyway.
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