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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey beautiful. Yea being in stage 4 is not fun at all. It has taken a very big toll on me and my weekend was not great at all. I struggled a lot.
I hope you don't mind but I have a question to ask you about your DID. If you don't want to answer it that is totally ok with me hun. I will understand.
When you are away and one of your alters is present, do you know what is going on out here or do you come back not knowing what happened since you were away?

Hubby has been amazing to you sweets. Are you sure it's a good idea to send him away for the weekend?
i am just worried about you hun being on your own for so long right now.
@Former-Member ❤️

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Appleblossom Hiya Apple hope you have some sunshine where you are today. Love peaxx

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member hey hunny I am doing well went for a walk and it was beautiful :D. Hoping you are having a super pea Thursday. Love pea

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Sorry Mel, fell asleep before I could answer. You can ask anything you like my beautiful friend. I know it's different for different people with DID. For us it depends how "deep" we go when we leave. I went as deep as I could so no I don't know what's been happening, I have been aware for maybe two days now. When I go, Kimberly, Nikki or Bear are normally around and they fill me in on the things I need to know. It's like watching a slide show of your life. We only bother with the important stuff.

It's probably not the best idea but he won't go for it anyway he is more stubborn then me.

Love you 3000 @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Ok that makes sense. Thank you for explaining that to me babe. How are you feeling being back? Were you around enough to feel the visit with your dad hun? When is your next visit with him?
I'm so sorry I am bombarding you with all these questions. If it's too much for now please don't answer them until your ready. I am just to excited that you are back I want to just pick up the phone and have a 4hr conversation with you.

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

It's all good sweetheart, no I wasn't around for that visit but I am going to send mum a message in about 2 weeks in time for his birthday. I am exhausted today but that happens when I have been gone as long as I have. It will take about a week to feel normal.

How are you going today my love? @Lee82

Hey Em, hope you have had an ok day. @Emelia8

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

So your dads birthday and yours are close together. 😉

I can imagine how tired you are babe. It must be a lot to deal with when you have been gone for so long.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

My sister, my baby brother, dads and my birthdays are all this month, dads is 6 days before mine. I noticed you have avioded my question so I won't press you on it. But know that I am hear for you too it's not all about me Mel! Love always @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I know you are here for me too babe but I think for now it should be just about you. I don't want to bombard you with my stuff so soon after you have returned. I am just happy to have you back hun.
do you have any plans for the next couple days?
how is your paint room coming along?
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

We have a public holiday tomorrow, but I am still going to horse therapy in the morning and my sil and her kids are coming over in the afternoon to do a session each on our vibration lounge. My paint room is going very slow and hubby is getting frustrated it's not back together.

I am heading to bed as night meds are kicking my butt now. They are so much stronger then I remember. I hope you get some decent sleep gorgeous. @Lee82

Good night my wonderful friends. @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @NatureLover @Emelia8 @outlander @Zoe7 @Eve7 @Shaz51 @Snowie @Maggie @Sans911 @Fluttershy1 @Faith-and-Hope @SpiderLady @Purplerain @mudsum @Lostandalone @Ant7 @MDT @Former-Member @The-red-centaur @Eden1919 and anyone else passing through

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