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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Babe I know that feeling. Feeling helpless, pain and hurt because I feel that too about you. But we are here for each other to help maybe confort and support each other. To listen and let each other know that we are not alone. That we understand.
this is all on me and I need to some how figure out what to do. Right now I don't know what to do anymore. I have tried so many things to stop but nothing has worked. Sometimes I feel like what's the point.
@Former-Member

please let me know how you go at the doctors honey. I am worried about you

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

"What's the point" I remember a few nights ago you begged me to stay if not for my family, myself then for you ! Well right back at you, if not for your boys, for you then please for me. But I know too that you actually have to want to be here for yourself. I wish you saw the beautiful person I see in you. I am always here for you always.

I have to step away my love, I have to have a shower to remove the dressings as painlessly as possible be the doctor. I am totally wigging out because I thought it was Monday and I would be seeing one of the female doctors at my clinic, but no they are not open on a Sunday so I have to see a stranger!!!!!!!!!!! He has promised not to leave me alone with her but I am so scared. I will let you know how it was.

Love yo 3000 @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I know babe believe me. It just hard when you are in that state of mind. I do think of my boys a lot. I think of you too babe. I am holding on I promise.
I will be here when you get back babe. I am thinking of you. Be strong. You will be ok. Exh2 is there to protect you.
love you to infinity and beyond

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey there @Lee82,

It sounds like you are really struggling with a lot of distress right now 🌻 It's great you are receiving support from the forums, but it is equally important you get support offline too. I'm sending you an email to check in with you about how you're going.

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh babe I'm so sorry but I am so glad you went babe...sounds like they needed a little more attention.
exh2 is so sweet...that was really nice of him to stick up for you like that.

how you feeling right now babe?
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I am not going to lie, it hurts so much. But can't take anymore pain meds for a while. 😞 @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Babe I'm so sorry to hear you are in pain. Wish there was more I could do.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

My Lee izzy said no to icecrme but I hink you need som. Icecreme tim 😃 @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

ohhh hugs @Former-Member @Lee82

@outlander, @Zoe7

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey my beautiful Kimmy. How are you sweetie? I would love to have a bowl of ice cream with you...if you could have some what flavour would it be? Choc chip?
@Former-Member

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