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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

My love I am so scared, it's been a long 15 years for this self professed daddy's girl. I have missed him so much, I have held my breath every hospital admission, would feel guilty as hell every family funeral because it was tinged with happiness that I would see him(never got to talk to him though) but the last funeral was 9 years ago now. I am so scared that they will reject me because I look like my birth mother, that my mental health will make me to much like her sister or they just don't care enough to have me rejoin the family. I have never felt so dam scared of seeing my own mum and dad. I am 44yrs old for fuc* sake @Lee82 , I am I so blo*dy messed up.

@Shaz51 , @NatureLover just thought I would edit and tag you here my beautiful friends

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thank you for tagging me my darling @Former-Member , sitting with you every hour of 6 day xoxo

In response to: Re: Darkness

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Oh honey....I don't know what I can say that will help ease your worry except that parents will always accept their children no matter what.
what you are feeling is valid my love no matter of your age. We all want to be loved and accepted by our parents no matter how old we are.
no expectations means no disappointment. That's my moto.
no parent wants to see there child in pain hun. Hopefully they will be supportive and not dismissive. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Keep me in your heart babe. You will be fine.
sending you a big hug and all my love my BFF.

@Former-Member

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thank you @NatureLover i am going to need all the luck I can get. 💗

In response to: Re: Darkness

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@Former-Member

How you doing hun?

In response to: Re: Darkness

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sending love @Former-Member Am here for you if you need

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@Lee82 wrote:

Thank you @NatureLover i am going to need all the luck I can get. 💗


Wishing you all the luck in the world @Lee82 as you resume homeschooling today and ongoing.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thank you @NatureLover hope your day is kind to you today.

hey gorgeous wishing you all the best for your visit today with your dad and stepmom. I will be thinking of you today babe. Love you always.
@NatureLover

In response to: Re: Darkness

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Visit done and I am too. I have no words to write and I have none to speak to hubby either. Will check in with you all later. @Lee82 @NatureLover @outlander @Shaz51

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Sending you a big warm gentle comforting hug, Nikki

@Former-Member

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