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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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@Former-Member wrote:

I had a brilliant time at horse therapy today I worked with Lacy she is such a gentle lady. Kimmy didn't come out but I made sure I gave Ella and Scotty lots of love for her.


So happy to hear this, Nikki! @Former-Member

Hope you sleep well tonight if possible!

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Sounds like a great day at therapy @Former-Member the ponies look cute too. I hope you sleep well ❤

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Oh wow honey I am so happy for you. So glad that therapy was a positive experience today. Wish we could chat tonight too but no doubt you would be exhausted so I wish you sweet dreams my beautiful friend. Love you to infinity and beyond 💕

@Former-Member

In response to: Darkness

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So pleased to read you had such a great experience today @Former-Member It is those moments we need to hold onto and remember - especially when life is so incredibly hard - it allows us to keep the hope alive and move forward ...even if it is in the smallest of steps

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@Former-Member Thank you for the tag and well wishes but Friday turned out pretty difficult. Here I am at 1am on the forum, but that is better than not having any options or outlets.

I met a horse therapist in June, so we prob need to be careful about six degrees and all that, not sure how many are in our town. I kinda did a little "horse therapy" with my kids, enough for my girl to have a noticeably good seat, but the kids realised it was out of their dad's price range, and never pushed for it. I never knew it was a therapy thing til a lady from Neami mentioned it. They are lovely beings. An uncle built an indoor arena for them ... up north.

Hope your weekend is good.

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@Former-Member ❤️

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@Lee82 , you still around

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Hey hun. I'm so sorry about last night. My night meds haven't been working so they were put up and last night was the first time a took the new dose. I was in and out of sleep all night and felt very disoriented and out of it. I hope you were able to get a decent nights sleep babe.
how you feeling today? Have you got any plans today?
@Former-Member

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Took the kids to see a waterfall today. It was a really nice day. Weather is beautiful. Feeling ok today. Haven't felt this ok for a very long time. Hopefully it last.
@Former-Member @Zoe7 @outlander @NatureLover @Shaz51 @Pollyotter @Snowie

In response to: Re: Darkness

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Waterfalls are one of most favourite things. You want to know what is one of my favourite things??

You having an ok day, I haven't stopped smiling. You have more ok days ahead of you my gorgeous friend. You are amazing. Love you 3000 @Lee82

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