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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member hoping today goes ok for you 💜💜

Hi @NatureLover @Bunniekins @Maggie and anyone passing through here 💛

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Omg babe! I am so sorry things have come to this. I am also glad you posted this morning although I obviously had seen it too late. Babe I'm going to sound pretty selfish right now so I want to apologise in advance. What about our promise to each other? I cannot do this alone and without you. I need you around my beautiful friend. I cannot deal with you leaving. I need you to keep fighting hun. Please! I know it's tiring and seems like there is no end to all this pain and suffering but you have to hold onto the hope that there is no matter how small that hope is. Please gorgeous I love you more than anyone in my life and I care about you more than I can explain.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member 💙💙💙💙💙

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I am home and safe. They have changed all of my meds and now I have to have a night carer someone to be awake while hubby sleeps. I am sorry for the stress and worry I caused everyone this morning. I should know better to post here when I am in such a state sorry.

@Lee82 @NatureLover @Former-Member @Snowie @Maggie

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey @Former-Member thanks so much for the update and we're really pleased to hear that you're now home and safe with a plan in place. Take care of yourself 🌻

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Babe I'm so relieved to hear that your are home. Please don't apologise for writing what's going on for you. I would prefer to know than not. That is what this forum is for. To reach out to your friends for support and I would go crazy if I didn't know what was happening. I am so grateful that you are ok and safe my love. I only wish I had your phone number so I could give you a call.
love you to the moon and back nikki.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thanks for the update, Nikki. Wow, a complete change of meds?! That's huge. Will you be safe during the changeover to the new meds? (I don't know how I survived my last changeover)

It was fine with me that you posted this morning and let us know where you were at...for some reason I was at the computer at that moment. I was relieved to let you know that your forum family were with you in your distress... 😞

And Nikki, are you feeling awful that this happened, while you were the protector? I hope you're not beating yourself up...you have done an amazing job all of Izzy's life, keeping her safe despite hideous trauma that I can only guess at. And she /all of you are still here with us. Thank goodness. @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member Thanks for letting us know you are safe. I hope the afternoon is ok enough. 💕💕

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey honey. I hope I haven't upset you with what I have written today. I just want you to know just how much you mean to me. Please forgive me if I have it was not my intention beautiful

I hope you are ok.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

No my love you haven't upset me, I am sorry for upsetting you though. Yesterday's session with Nat brought up so many memories and on top of what I was already struggling with was/is too much. I just don't have any strength left anymore. Hospital was just the worse but compiled with there requests to be able to come home. I love you so very much @Lee82

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