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Darkness

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2020, 7:03 pm AEST

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

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In response to: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor26 July 2020, 4:27 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

sitting with you @Former-Member i know its really tough for you right now. please keep reaching out for those supports including us here too 💜🦖🌻

In response to: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor26 July 2020, 4:28 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@Lee82 🧡🤍💙

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor26 July 2020, 4:33 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@outlander ❤️
how has your weekend been hun?

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor26 July 2020, 5:07 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Thanks for asking @Lee82 but i dont really want to talk about my myself.

Hows yours going?

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor26 July 2020, 5:13 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

That's totally ok @outlander

I am ok. Feeling a little anxious cause the boys are due home soon. I don't like seeing their dad. He makes me anxious.

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor26 July 2020, 5:15 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Can you plan for something nice after hes been ans gone? @Lee82 like watching a fave tv show episode or having a quick shower or making yourself a tea/coffe and breathing for a few min?

In response to: Darkness

Unknown userMember26 July 2020, 8:09 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

I am so sorry Mel, had a internalised breakdown. Was left with my 15 year old niece and her girlfriend, because they wanted to spend time with Aunty. I thought that they would be gone for about half hour but nearly two hours later Sean and his sister turned back up. I am was going to reply with what was up when we had an ambulance pull up in the street sirens blazing. Panic attack, them 20 minutes of explaining to niece's what was happening. Not to mention they wanted aunty time to talk and ask questions, I was not prepared at all. All I will say that their behaviour with each in their private time was extremely triggering for me, they wanted to know if it was ok and normal😟☹️ What the actual F**K. I am heading down again, I can feel it coming. @Lee82 and @outlander , I am scared I can't do another fours days or what I just went through.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor26 July 2020, 8:29 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

I am so sorry hun. That must have been really hard to deal with. Your niece must feel extremely comfortable around you to ask such intimate questions. Please try and not be so hard on yourself. You got through it. That's a win!!
I'm sure you handled the situation the best way you coukd of hun. You have to be little less critical of yourself. i know it's hard babe but you have to try and find the positives no matter how small they are and celebrate them. You were left alone with your niece and her girlfriend....win. You held a conversation with them....win. You were able to explain what is going on for you to them....win.
I love you so much gorgeous ❤️
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember26 July 2020, 8:30 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Hi there @Former-Member

I am sorry to hear that you have been triggered and had a panic attack Izzy, Being scared and worried tonight must be a tough place to be in. Are you able to get some support at home? Please reach out for help off the foums tonight and in the morning if you need it. We all hope that you are able to find some calmness and solace tonight and that the morning brings you some equilibrium.

take care

Whitehawk

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor26 July 2020, 8:31 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

I'm so sorry @outlander I didn't get the notification for your message. The boys are home and I managed to avoid a panic attack. We are now watching friends together. Feeling really tired though after trying to keep my anxiety under control.

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