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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

My dearest Mel and forum family, yesterday I expressed elsewhere on the forum that I didn't know weather it was sad or just wrong to realise that my only reason for living was my family here on the forum. With that sitting heavily I was not ok yesterday, and with that came a rather poor choice. I am home now and being wonderfully cared for by hubby and am safe once again. I am sorry for the distress of not checking in I was just not physically or emotionally able to before now. I had thought I had hit rock bottom a couple of weeks ago but no i keep falling and failing. Other then my own mh, I am dealing with family relationships and drama that makes a Jerry Springer episode look like and episode of play school, honestly my family is bat sh*t crazy and driving me nuts. I love you all and thank you for your ongoing support and concern.

@Lee82 @Zoe7 @NatureLover @outlander @Shaz51

@Lee82 , I love you 3000

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Lee82 , babe are you ok? I am so sorry

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Don't apologise babe. I am just glad you are safe and as ok as you can be right now. I am so sorry to hear what happened yesterday 😔

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member Whenever and wherever you can be here is enough. You need to dowhat is right for you at any given time and although I am sorry to hear you feel you are falling even further I am also buoyed by the knowledge you have support at home. This MH 'journey' we are all on is not an easy one Hon - there will be ebs and flows, good times and not so good, highs and lowers (and lower lows) but through it all we also come to recognise in ourselves where we are at and seek out the support we need - it takes great strength to do that and even greater strength to pick yourself up again and keep going. Here with you @Former-Member and walking this road right alongsise you

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Lee82 , it just so horrendous at the moment. Nothing is right everything is falling apart at the seems and I can't stop it.

How are you my love?

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thank you beautiful @Zoe7, I appreciate your kind words. Thank you for being here with me tonight. 💜Nikki

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

My pleasure Nikki @Former-Member Going to be around for a while tonight so reach out whenever you need Hon

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I can't begin to describe just how sorry I am honey for what you are going through right now. Wish I was with you.
I'm so sorry if I pressured you to come back on here babe if you weren't ready. I didn't mean to do that. That was not my intention. @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness


@Former-Member wrote:

@Lee82 , it just so horrendous at the moment. Nothing is right everything is falling apart at the seems and I can't stop it.


So sorry you're going through so much right now @Former-Member, please know we are here for you if you need

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Zoe7 , thanks for the offer lovely but I have been given a few powerful sp's to make sure I rest and the body can do the healing it needs to so I am off to bed now. I hope your night is a peaceful one.

@Lee82 , I wish you where here too. You certainly didn't pressure me to come here babe, I have been wanting to check in all day but haven't been able to until I did. You are avoiding my question again my love, but I will let it slide as I have to go to bed now. When I ask you how you are tomorrow could you please answer me. Love you more then you will ever know.

Good night @NatureLover @outlander @Bunniekins @Shaz51 @Eve7 @Sans911

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