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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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Missing you so much @Lee82

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I miss you more than you know hun.

@Former-Member 😔

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My princess pea, I am so sorry you have had to put your studies on hold. 😔 Hopefully you can get the answers you need sooner rather than later and that you can pick your studies up again. Sending you all my love sweetie

💖👸 @Bunniekins 👸💖

In response to: Re: Darkness

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@Former-Member you are such a lovely person. So caring. Thank you for your kind words. I know I will pick my studies up next semester. I am forever hopeful :)xxx

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It has been such a hard day today. For some reason (I know why but don't want to say) today has felt like I lost my best friend all over again.

All the emotions are back along with the memories. From the phone from her ten year old daughter, to seeing her in the ICU with all the machines attached. Then getting to call that they where turning off her life support. The day of the funeral putting my engagement ring on her ring finger, she use to wear it every time I took it off to do something and fixing her hair because they didn't get it right. Everyday since has always been hard without her. Today my heart has felt the loss as if it was yesterday. I miss you so much my love, my tennis loving pain in the ar*e, my defender, my happiness.

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sending so much love and hugs @Former-Member 🌻🦖🧡

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@Former-Member

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Thank you sweetheart @outlander

Good night everyone hope you find some peace tonight @outlander @Bunniekins @Lee82 @NatureLover @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Sans911 @Snowie

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Goodnight @Former-Member 💖💙

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Hey gorgeous. I am so very sorry you have had all the memories and emotions come back of your best friend. That must have been rough to go through again. My heart is breaking for you. I feel your pain beautiful and I wish there was more I could do for you like give you a big gentle hug and tell you that I love you very much and wish that you could have your friend back.
I hope you get some rest nikki and perhaps feel a little better tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities.
always in my heart @Former-Member 💗

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