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Darkness

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2020, 7:03 pm AEST

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

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In response to: Darkness

Unknown userMember10 June 2020, 5:50 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Hey @Lee82 , Kimba has been extremely active today which is why I haven't been on a lot today. She is just living her reality while out in the body. When she looks in the mirror she sees our 12 year old self not as we are now, she is wearing her clothes ect, it's like a flashback lived out in real time and for those around me to see. So until we get to the trauma that has caused her behaviour this will continue. Yes @Former-Member its rough and takes a huge toll on the body, but in saying that we have been processing our trauma this way for 15+ years so unfortunately we are very use to it.

@Lee82 , I hope Mr 12 and Mr 9 are enjoying being back at school. I am sorry you are still having a tough time right now. Any news on when you will be going to hospital? Love you to infinity and beyond Always my friend.

@Bunniekins, I will miss you, but hope your studies go well. I will keep tagging you though.

@Former-Member, that's for the support my friend and it was really awesome to "see" you today. Kimmy wants to know if you saw your butterfly she did you. You don't have to reply she is ok with that.

@outlander Hope today has been a little gentle with you honey.

@Sans911and @Zoe7 really hope you both are doing as well as you can right now.

@Shaz51 , @Snowie @Maggie , sending you all hugs

@Eve7 , thank you for your very lovely post this morning. You have a beautiful soul sweetie. I am looking forward to my next horse therapy session on Friday and am really hoping the effects last longer then three hours. Thanks a million for your support.

To everyone I haven't tagged, I hope your night is peaceful and yours dreams sweet. 💜Nikki