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Darkness

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2020, 7:03 pm AEST

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

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In response to: Darkness

JupiterSenior Contributor05 June 2020, 2:13 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Hi Nikki

I'm hearing that you feel a lot of responsibility to protect @Former-Member and keep her safe. That's a lot for you to be holding today. I wonder whether you may be able to encourage Izzy to reach out to a helpline for support to stay safe?

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467

We're here to support you through this tough time

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember05 June 2020, 2:27 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Hi @Jupiter , thank you for your message. We are ok today. We are not in crisis. I was just telling Izzy's friends how it is for her. She is safe, I am safe for that matter. Sometimes I just need to get the words out of our head. It can be a lot at times but not today. Thank you for your concern though.

@Lee82 , hey Mel I am good just trying to get through a lot of odd jobs that aren't being done at the moment. I always seem to have more energy lately while the others are always exhausted. You didn't answer my question though🤨🤨🤨🤨 How are you my friend.

In response to: Re: Darkness

JupiterSenior Contributor05 June 2020, 2:31 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Thanks for letting me know that you and Izzy are safe today - that is great to hear @Former-Member

In response to: Darkness

Unknown userMember05 June 2020, 2:34 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@Lee82 , just listened to that song. It's beautifully powerful. I am sure Izzy will want to add it to your playlist 💜Nikki

In response to: Darkness

NatureLoverSenior Contributor05 June 2020, 3:04 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member wrote:
@NatureLover , I am not sure if there was a question in your post last night or not. Hope you are well.

Hi Nikki, no, no question, just thanks for the update today and nice to meet you 🙂

I hope you and @Former-Member can stay OK.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor05 June 2020, 3:17 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Hey Nikki I'm glad you are keeping yourself busy. It's the best thing to do to stay distracted. Yea that song is very powerful and I can relate to well most of it.
Sorry I'm not ignoring your question just been feeling a little uneasy about posting what's been going on for me lately and how I'm doing cause when I do I seem to get myself into a bit of trouble with the mods and if I lose my privilege of being on this forum then I lose my contact with you and I can't let that happen. I will not cope without speaking to you everyday.
@Former-Member

In response to: Darkness

Unknown userMember05 June 2020, 4:51 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member🌸😊💓

Hi Nikki ... nice to meet you. I am slowly starting to get to know a few of you. I can see that you hold yourself responsible for Izzy's physical safety. I have to say though that it makes me sad, because there is no way you could possibly always be around to do that. If bad things happen, it does not make it your fault. Not in any way shape or form. The client assault and the kids fathers visit, are both cases in point. How could you have known? Please dont beat yourself up about it being your fault, because it isnt.

You asked how I am today. I'm okay thanks for asking Nikky. Though its been a busy day with a 2-hour long eye specialist appointment first up, then a need to do weekly grocery shop, and other chores in town.

Please pass on my love to Izzy, Kimberly, Kimmy and of course yourself Nikky. I'm not aware that I have met your other alters, but those ones I do know.

Sherry 🌸

Thought Izzy and Kimmy may like this picture ....