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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

You wrote: . Kimba the 12yr has just tried to leave this world by taking something.

I got worried

@Former-Member

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

God no Mel, it's just an explaination of what is like for me daily. It's my struggle every day and it will be forever. The CPTSD is treatable so I have been told but after 10 long years of therapy for my DID it's not going any where. The CPTSD has trigger all my old stuff and has brought back all the flashbacks, but hoping if treatment is successful for the PTSD then hopefully these will go away again.

You are such a beautiful friend, I really don't know what I did to deserve you @Lee82

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hi @Former-Member

It is extremely brave of you to share this post and I thank you for doing it. It takes a lot of courage and strength to do this.

Please look after yourself and continue to use the forums as a support for yourself.

Much love and hugs hon 💌💌

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

That is in Kimba's reality not mine, it's how my DID works Mel. @Lee82

I am safe love, it is just something that happens to me.

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thank you Eve, I hope you manage a restful night sweetie.

@Eve7

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thank you beautiful lady, congratulations on the new role. You are going to be so amazing cause you already are.

@Snowie

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

That was a very brave post @Former-Member , and I commend you.

Thank you so much for helping me (hopefully) understand just a little about your DID. Wow ... so much.

Cant go without sending a gentle hug to Kimmy. 😀

Please take care, all of you.

Sherry 💕

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I'm sorry babe. I am a little sensitive at the moment and at the moment I am not thinking straight. You mean everything to me and I CANNNOT lose you.
All of you. I have grown to know each one of your alters well most of them anyway I have formed relationships with each and everyone. I love them all and I love you so so so very much my friend.
Kimmy you are the sweetest little princess I know.

Nikki the protector who dropped her guard a little to let me in and see just how beautiful she is.
Bear the vibrant teen who also has a caring and loving heart.
Kymberly so sweet and loving who seems very wise beyond her age. Which Izzy I think is in her 20's from past posts.
Izzy you are one amazing beautiful person. Someone I am so glad I have met. Someone who has touched my heart in a very profound way and will forever be the most special person in my life. The most important person in my life that I will never ever give up on. NO MATTER WHAT!!

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member , Kimmy is not brave enough to speak you to herself yet (poor you when that changes) But she wanted me to tell you that she is going to make you a beautiful butterfly when she is allowed to do more painting. Thank you for your kind words my beautiful friend

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member

I would love that very much Kimmy and I hope you get to paint again soon. Ive seen some of your painting, and you are so clever. Perhaps you could teach me one day.

You dont need to be shy sweetie. I have two grand daughters who are just a little older than you. And I love them very much.

It must be close to your bed time Kimmy? Giving you a good night hug.

Sherry 😀💖

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