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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

💗🦋 @Former-Member 🦋💗

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I just feel so lost. Besides my family on this forum I am so alone. I have no one around that cares that can be there to help make those tough decisions. My MH professionals keep saying to me only you know what you need and what will help but the truth is I don't know. I have no f**king idea how to help myself. I cannot make these decisions I do not have the capacity to do so. Last night I went to my cousins and I really shouldn't have because when I left sh*t hit the fan. I drank too much and I SH more than I ever have. I am ok now. I got medical attention but I am just so tired of this bullsh** I am beyond words right now. I don't know what to do I don't know what to think I don't know what to say.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I need you now more than ever but I know I can't have that. I know it is extremely selfish of me to afk. I know you need more support than I do right now. I know this is so wrong but I can't help it. I have no one I just want s hug right now from you to be comforted by you. I am falling apart

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Sweetie, I am so sorry you are struggling right now. I wish more than anything that right now I was with you to give you as many hugs as you can handle.

What's happening for you right at this moment my love my. @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I am losing my sh*t babe.

@Former-Member

I need you so much right now

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I am here and not going anywhere. When you say losing your sh*t what do you mean my love @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I'm notn thinking straight back we

Jiejrb

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Ok, how are your si thoughts? @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Now good @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

How bad have they been Mel. Always honest remember 💜 @Lee82

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