Any diagnosed germophobes or hoarders on this forum?

I didn't end up vacuuming, but I'll use a mask when I do.

Yes, the walk in the sun was nice. I hope you got a nice one too.

What were the results of your psychologist's questionnaires? I'm concerned that she shouted at you 😣

I feel depressed this morning despite the sun, which is alarming as today is my first day at the small office which is 40 minutes away. It's not a work day but a meet-and-greet and information day. Am nervous. Don't even want breakfast!

@Dimity

Wow @NatureLover that's wonderful! My very best wishes. I hope the people are nice and the workplace amenable. And that you can get the front line work you prefer.

I trust the long drive and new faces don't stress you too much, and you're able to make a good showing and overcome your depression. It's a big day for you. Please let me know how it goes.

Thanks for your kind words, @Dimity .

I found the information day stressful and overwhelming. Actually confronting. The long drive both ways, and then the rules and requirements. I will need to produce a confidentiality agreement, a working with children check plus police check, and to submit a resume even though I've already been accepted. The place is very run-down and poor, and not many volunteer procedures are in place.

I am quite discouraged and have been recovering since. I don't want to leave the house for anything. But I did like the person who would be my boss. I just have to see if I want to take the position up. At this point, I don't.

Am staying home this weekend. Reading and pottering. What about you?

Hello @NatureLover

I'm sorry to hear the day was so confronting. I wonder if the long drive rattled you and things went downhill from there.

Unfortunately the checks, agreement and resume would be pretty standard for any workplace.

It's a pity the place seems rundown and disorganised - it sounds very needy. I wonder if that's a sign they really do need the skills and experience of people like yourself. Just a thought.

The stress of driving such a long way with agoraphobia is a big challenge and could be the deal breaker, although I know you worked on it with your psychologist. Maybe don't rush into any decisions until you've talked to her again.

I'm glad you're pacing yourself and recovering this weekend instead of taking too much on.

I'm hopefully getting signoff on my legal paperwork tomorrow. I'm ashamed of the state of my place re having visitors but I've not been on top of things for a while. I'm way behind on other admin stuff too. And now with family developments there's more to do.

The psychologist says the assessment results aren't good. She was surprised how bad they were. I guess that gives us something to work on.

Thanks, @Dimity . Yes, I need to talk to my psychologist. I'm really applying to this job as she wants me to get out of the house. I'm questioning whether I'm just doing it to please her. (I think that's true)

That's great news that your legal paperwork is almost finished and can be signed off on!

Were you surprised at the results of your psychology assessments? Or did you expect them to be bad?

I had a couple of bad nights and an off day yesterday where I achieved nothing. Still feel the same today, but am going to try to achieve something on the house.

@NatureLover yes it can take several days to get over a particularly bad day. I hope you're feeling a bit better now.

Hard to tell re "just" pleasing your psychologist vs her trying to suggest things that might help - I know how much you've missed the camaraderie of your old workplace as it was before things turned sour. It's good a few have stayed in touch. But your workdays must be different now, working remotely, with people you don't know well. Perhaps you could suggest some unstructured online conferencing - sort of a virtual substitute for catchups at tea breaks or the water cooler.

It's not surprising you're feeling flat given everything you've been through.

No, I wasn't surprised at my DASS score. I've been finding things very difficult. But I think my general demeanour is often perceived as impassive and unemotional when I'm sometimes shut down and perhaps in functional freeze... probably a very old learnt response to overload

You've probably heard me say at different times I need to start over, start afresh. Right now I need to process some of this year's hurdles I've crossed, rest and recover. Then I might be ready to set goals and start again.

It's very hot and humid here, and I see it will be very wet tomorrow. I guess it will be a work day for you. Take care.

Thanks, @Dimity . And thanks for reminding me about the camaraderie of a workplace.

I've now changed my work-from-home days to Tuesdays and Fridays, to accommodate the new job at the little office, where my new boss is only on site on Mondays. That will probably start on Monday week, after my checks are in place.

So today will be about getting my Police Check and applying for the Working With Children Check, and writing my resume. All a bit tricky and stressful.

And I do wonder whether I can cope with three shifts a week.

That's sad that you are so often in overload that you're in a functional freeze 😥 I think that it's good that your psychologist knows how bad things are for you now.

I think it's a good idea for you to rest and recover and process what's been an incredibly difficult year for you.

Hope the forms weren't too difficult @NatureLover . Public holiday tomorrow so I guess I won't have craft.

Did the boss at the little job confirm whether it would be admin or frontline work?

My psychiatrist asked me today about my decluttering and I said I'd barely done any for months.

Re the decluttering, you've been using all your energy to survive and tackle your legal and family issues, @Dimity .

Sorry you have to miss your craft group. Does that mean there won't be one for another fortnight?

My new job would be admin. But I'm thinking I want to pull out. Need to give it more thought and ask my psychologist. But I don't see her for another fortnight, I think?

Hope today goes OK for you.

Yes @NatureLover it's been a mental and physical effort and I'm very tired. And trying to navigate the confusing messages and communication breakdowns with my family.

I guess you're waiting on the checks etc as well as waiting to see psychologist. Well done for keeping your options open, it can't be easy, when first impressions were so off-putting.

I don't know how or when I'll catch up with things. One step at a time.