Any diagnosed germophobes or hoarders on this forum?

Hi @Dimity , I like the sound of the EMDR, the Structures therapy and the Neurofeedback therapy in the van der Kolk book. A friend also told me about Cranio-Sacral therapy which helps to unstick you emotionally /mentally apparently. But I doubt I will do any of them.

Interesting what you say about the EMDR - I've heard lots of good things about it. Only one person has ever said that it brought up trauma that they then had to go and deal with after the session on their own, which was distressing for them.

Yesterday I got all my notes for my psychologist done but not the food sorted. I am hoping to give the bags (and the house) a good go this weekend.

I meant to tell you, I've been finding the Stream of Consciousness Writing difficult but valuable. I got some insights from it, including that I'm very scared of facing all my terrifying fears. Apparently this is some sort of breakthrough that my psychologist said she could work on from here on in. Apparently most of my MIs are fear-based. (I have major depression, generalised anxiety, OCD (germophobia), excoriation disorder, hoarding disorder and agoraphobia.)

She's also concerned about me and wants to see me in December and January (see my next post). We usually skip those months as I only have the 10 appts per year. I was very surprised, but we made 2 appts that I will pay for myself. (I'm OK by the way)

Sorry to talk so much about myself - and in the next post, too - if it's too much, totally OK for you not to reply!

Gosh, battling public transport sounds difficult especially if you have to change buses /trains and wait.

It sounds like you welcome the rain. It's certainly nice not to have to water the garden.

Good luck with all you have on today. Would be happy to hear about it all. 💚

Trigger Warning...CSA

I've just finished reading the Bessel van der Kolk book "The Body Keeps the Score" about trauma. I related to a lot of it. It gave me the courage to disclose to my psychologist yesterday that I suspect I have CSA in my background (child sexual assault).

I've always thought this was the case, but I can't remember it. I can't remember anything before I was 8.

I don't feel anything about it, but I'm emotionally shut down at the moment (maybe it's the grief, I'm not sure). My psychologist is concerned about me, but I don't think she needs to be...I'm OK at the moment. I told her I was more concerned about germs and the 30 boxes in my neighbour's shed that I can't face, but she said they may be linked.

@Dimity @Eve7 @Snowie @Anastasia @Shaz51 @Bow @Captain24

Please be gentle with yourself @NatureLover you matter 💕

Id be interested in reading that book one day…

Hello @NatureLover

You're a wonderful person. I'm so glad you're expressing who you are and what you need, and that you're able to commit to continuing to work with your psychologist during the MHCP gap.

I can understand feeling emotionally shut down and fearful but you've taken the first steps to regaining clarity and control. Keep writing. Be gentle with yourself, and plan in advance for selfcare if/when memories and emotions emerge. From experience they may be spiky fragments or might be a bit overwhelming.at times.

I also hear the worry about the house and the 30 boxes. Can they wait? Or have you thought about maybe reconnecting with the good friend who was helping and supporting you until it became too much? I think you bought a big storage crate you needed help to assemble.

Above all don't worry. It sounds as though you're in safe hands.

Love and light @NatureLover. Pax et Bonum.

Sounds like a really interesting book @NatureLover

I'm glad it gave you that courage hon and you were able to talk about it.

Take care, enjoy your day 💌💌

@Snowie @NatureLover @Dimity @Bow @Anastasia

got a bout of anxiety just now and this thread always grounds me thank you for keeping it going. I did some gardening this week when it was cooler. I mowed the lawn on Wednesday. I have put off the gardener to save $ or for summer time when it is too hot for me. It has been a tough week but my post on that is under the family forums. But thank-you all for maintaining this wholesome thread. It is so calming.

It gave me a warm buzz to hear you call this thread "wholesome and calming", @scruffypuffball , so thank you ❤️

Sorry things have been tough and your anxiety's been bad...sending wishes it improves.

Thank you, @Bow ❤️

I definitely recommend the book. He writes well and is easy to read, not too scientific.

Thank you @Snowie ❤️

Thank you my dear friend for your lovely caring message ❤️ @Dimity

I really appreciate your kind words ❤️

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@Dimity wrote:

From experience they may be spiky fragments or might be a bit overwhelming.at times.

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Are you speaking about your trauma, or possibly about assault? (No need to answer if you'd rather not, am just concerned for you.)

Your memory about my stuff warms my heart. Yes, you're right about the storage box, but I haven't built it yet, or got a handyman in to build it. Yes, the 30 boxes can wait, and maybe I'll get them all out and tackle them all in summer. Summer is when I feel my strongest, usually - to do with the sunshine.

I could ask my friend to help, yes...but at the moment I'm not wanting anyone in my house due to my germophobia being bad. My bathroom fan has stopped working and I'm reluctant to call an electrician for the same reason.

I'm curious as to whether you might be religious? You wrote "Pax et bonum" in Latin (thank you for that, by the way ❤️ ).

You haven't written much about you, which I'm always happy to hear about. I am really enjoying our dynamic of sharing each day. I hope you'll write more about you soon. 💚