Any diagnosed germophobes or hoarders on this forum?

• Sorry to concern you dear @Dimity 😥 I didn't mean to do that, and when I saw that just now in my email notifications I thought I'd better pop in. All OK, just been reading and yes, I had some proper food for lunch and also went back outside for a time.

Don't know why it went in that format above, I'm on my phone. Hoping you are OK and I'm just so sorry you don't feel well 😥 Sending wishes 💚

Thanks for letting me know you're OK @NatureLover .

I'll be OK too, just tired and sore from today's efforts. I've been trying to deal with some of the stuff stored off-site.

I hope work goes well for you tomorrow, you've only had a short break from it this week.

Hi @Dimity ,

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@Dimity wrote:

Gardening is a Good Thing and grounding, and I love the plants and flowers, but I can't do very much at a time as I don't feel well enough. I rest and recover after even a short stint.

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Thanks for explaining. Does this mean your full private garden is a bit of a stress sometimes in terms of trying to keep up with it?

A huge Well Done for working on your off-site stuff yesterday! I know it's been worrying you.

Thanks for your good wishes, it's sometimes hard to get back into work when I've had those bad days or days when I've just read books and done laundry. Work is very busy and the phone is constant.

I need to do watering this morning before work too. I confess, I'd rather go back to bed.

Hoping you're not too sore and tired this morning when you wake up...

Yes, it's hard to keep up with the garden @NatureLover. I'm not doing enough inside or outside but recognise I'm doing more than i did 18 months ago when I started my wellness program. I've struggled for a very long time. Maybe I need to start again with a new helper. I certainly need to do things differently.

I admire and respect your commitment to work, even when (perhaps especially when) things at home haven't been going so well. It's good you can find solace in reading. I certainly did a long time ago and hope one day to rediscover it.

I have more boxes again and know there's a lot to be done. So hopefully I'll overcome whatever roadblocks are holding me back. I wish the same for you.

Hi @Dimity , thanks for your kind words 🙂

It sounds like you brought some boxes back from your offsite storage?

Well done for doing more now than 18 months ago. I'm sad you've been struggling for so long 😢

I ended up going in to work yesterday as on Monday the internet was dropping in and out. Today I have an awful lot to try and get done, including all my notes for the past month for my psychologist appt on Friday, plus going through all the (roughly 35) grocery bags on my kitchen and lounge-room floors. I need to get out the foods to donate on Friday after my psychology appt - the Food Bank is right near her office. (So is the library - that will be my reward.) I desperately need to reduce my mess.

I feel a bit overwhelmed by all my tasks. I also need to wash some grocery bags as I have none left that are spare. Plus lots more tasks but they are the 3 most important.

I've started reading Besser van der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score" - about trauma. I've had it for a while but it looked daunting. Actually it's interesting and he writes well. (Is it OK with you that I mentioned it? - as you are finding it hard to read at the moment?) - Actually my solace in reading is more an addiction 😣

I wish you had the funds to get a long-term helper. And a psychologist too. Are you seeing your psychologist again soon?

Sending you many good wishes 💚

I enjoy hearing about books @NatureLover ! Today I was trying to read some files I was sorting and had to find my magnifiers and turn on extra light. Oh well

Gosh you've got a lot on your plate. It sounds as though you're struggling with compulsive grocery buying? How are you going with the online shopping... you'd managed to cut back I think? My stuff is largely historical, mostly acquired but some inherited. I did waste food when I was working but am on top of my grocery buying now - I use a list but also buy staples like dishwashing liquid when they're on special so rarely pay full price except for perishables.

Yes I've brought back several boxes. It's a stressful undertaking but hopefully my counsellor (the psychologist) can help steer me. I'm finding things quite difficult at the moment.

I've heard of the van der Kolk. My counsellor says she has experience in treating trauma - I've not had that help before. Perhaps then I'll be better able to resolve current problems.

Tomorrow will be a difficult day again, and I'll need to set the alarm very early for an appointment. I guess you'll be working so I hope you achieved everything you needed to today. It's not easy but somehow we muddle through.

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@Dimity wrote:

I enjoy hearing about books @NatureLover !

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Aww, you're so generous, @Dimity !

Sorry you need the magnifiers and the extra light.

The thing with my "compulsive grocery buying" is that I have food obsessions. So I buy a lot of that food and eat it 3 times a day. Then I suddenly go off that food and onto another, so I end up with extras. That's why I need to get rid of them by donating. I use my food obsessions to manage my mood. You're right, I'm not online shopping any more, thank goodness. But I do the same as you - buy things when they're on special. I save money but then have to store the extra items, and there's nowhere to store them so they sit on the floor in their grocery bags.

Yesterday I managed to empty about 20 grocery bags - still about 15 to go. And I didn't tackle the notes for my psychologist either. So the pressure's on now to complete both by Friday at 10. Somehow I wasn't in the right mood for getting rid of stuff yesterday - I meant to fill 3 grocery bags with foods to donate, but have only filled half a bag so far.

I'm glad to hear that your counsellor has experience in treating trauma. I know things are very difficult for you at the moment - you have the trauma which needs going through, but you also have pressing current issues 🫂 and a lot to cope with with your family 😢

You have an early appt today...good luck getting up early when it would make you feel like cr*p.

Sending warm hugs...

Well done for emptying 20 grocery bags @NatureLover that's a big achievement. Fingers crossed you can sort the food donations and finish your notes in time.

I understand better your food buying - thanks for explaining. It can't be easy. I've heard that strong food preferences and distaste for some flavours and textures feature in some mh conditions and neurodiversity, but didn't realise the preferences could often change. My cat goes through cycles of preferring particular brands then changing his mind and leaving them untouched, so I worry sometimes if he's unwell and offer an alternative.

I'm very glad to have ticked off what needed to be done this week and can now start moving forward again, it's a big relief. It's a reset. Time to re-establish routines and work up to some goal-setting.

Good luck for tomorrow!!!

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@Dimity wrote:

I'm very glad to have ticked off what needed to be done this week and can now start moving forward again, it's a big relief. It's a reset. Time to re-establish routines and work up to some goal-setting.

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I was so glad to hear this @Dimity ! Well done 👋

Thanks for listening re my food obsessions. I had never considered whether they were a MH condition, rather I thought of them as an addiction. That I use to manage my MH. But maybe you're right and they're part of my OCD?

I haven't tackled the psychologist notes yet so need to do that straight after this. They are all in a haphazard state this month. Then if time I will sort through the remaining 10 - 15 bags for food donations. If I run out of time I will just have to go to the Food Bank next week.

Does that mean that you end up with lots of cat food that is uneaten?

I finished the book "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk. Very interesting, and I was intrigued by some of his therapies for trauma. I learnt that the sense of having some control over your life is very important for MH. A lot of what he wrote resonated with me.

This weekend will have some rain I think. Good for your garden but preventing you from doing gardening maybe.

I hope that you feel stronger and more hopeful and can face some tasks this weekend - me too.

The van der Kolk book sounds interesting. Are you going to try any of his therapies? I was suggested EMDR but wikipedia casts doubt on it and calls it pseudo-science. I haven't looked up PubMed.

Did you achieve your goals today? I didn't. I spent most of the day battling public transport to buy something several suburbs away. Hopefully your notes gave the psychologist what she needed, and you got some stuff to the food bank.

It's nice hearing the rain on the roof, and crickets earlier. I have a lot to catch up on tomorrow and plan to go out again. I hope you have a pleasant day.