Numb again

Thanks @Pollyotter but just need to get through each day. Off to bed now. Lovely to see you tonight

So here i am again...

In the closet ...

With wormy

Freaking out ...

Not having the power that I need to get out of here yet again..

I have decided to call all this darkness Brenda...

Brenda tells me I am worthless

Brenda tells me all the negative things that come with abuse ..

When I think Brenda is on her marry way she squats in my head and effects go to my heart...

Is Brenda right?

am I right?

Why am I here again? I have worked so hard to stay out of the closet and yet I crawled back here so fast...

I keep on looking around in this small space... Am I looking for my strength or am I looking for a way away from Brenda... Who knows.

Hey there @Pollyotter,

I can see you're in a dark place and feeling helpless about your recovery. I'm glad you are sharing it with us here. I hope you are being gentle on yourself.

Here with you,

Sphinxly 🐣

@Former-Member

Thank you for your kind words.

Are we ever gentile on ourselves after something like this?

I know I am automatically not.

I don't know what is harder about this having lived it and suppressed it or dealing after 8 years finally. That is something I still need to wrap my head about I guess.

.....

Hey, there beautiful people. I hope you are all doing well.

I started to study counseling last month. Apparently, I have a talent for it. Who knew?. I work two jobs and keep myself extremely busy as well.

Checking in how are you doing ?.

@Zoe7

@Lee82

That is really good news @Pollyotter I have no doubt you would be good at it Hon - I have been here with you since you joined and have not only seen your progress personally but your support of others. Counselling is so much about listening and that you do really well so Yes I am sure you would be good at it. Good luck with the course and I hope it leads you in a direction you are happy and content with.

It was you who did that for yourself @Pollyotter I was merely a sounding board for you to work through all that you had to

Presently I am not doing so well Hon - too much going on for many, many weeks and I am really struggling to keep my head above water. I have this week off work and will most likely have the following week as well. It is a short week for us as we have a public holiday on the Thursday then a student free day on the Friday. I am planning on going on that day for our whole school PD but will discuss that with my GP this week. I have to apply for additional sick days as I will run out of the normal ones we get each year but my GP and Principal will support that - it was actually my Principal that suggested I apply for the extra days and to take the time I need so I feel very supported at work.