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Numb again

PollyotterSenior Contributor09 Apr 2020, 8:48 pm AEST

Numb again

I have tried contacting online support but everything is unavailable or offline .

I was raped 7 years ago and things happen so I made myself numb and supprised everything. I learned about the breathing techniques as well as the 5,4,3,2,1 tool. Tonight it's not working . I am having flash backs like crazy and I can't get my mind and body to calm down to relax and sleep . At this stage I am in for a night of night terrors and I can't do that again tonight. I am shutting down again but not sure how to stop it .

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In response to: Numb again

Zoe7Senior Contributor17 Apr 2020, 9:39 pm AEST

Re: Numb again

I love that your corner is in your closet @Pollyotter Anywhere that you feel safe 👍

Wow - that is awesome Hon - how did they take it?

In response to: Re: Numb again

PollyotterSenior Contributor17 Apr 2020, 9:42 pm AEST

Re: Numb again

@Zoe7
It was the best place I can think of. And I can close the door if it gets too much .

So I sit and snack on m&ms in the closet .

Uhm well
...
You know Armish?
Some Afrikaner people are like the Armish.. and my aunt and uncle are pure Afrikaner.
I got told it's just a fase that I am going through . And I was prayed for when I said it has been 13 years. It's a long fase

In response to: Re: Numb again

Zoe7Senior Contributor17 Apr 2020, 9:47 pm AEST

Re: Numb again

I love M&Ms but rarely have them ...I ill virtually share them with you

You did a really brave thing telling yur family then @Pollyotter The most important thing here though is you know who you are and you don't need their approval to live your authentic life - yes it might be nice but you are the one that has to live your life and no-one can do that for you - so being who you are and following what you know and believe is ultimately the most important thing.

As a side-note: my cat is named after a former South African tennis player.

In response to: Re: Numb again

PollyotterSenior Contributor17 Apr 2020, 9:53 pm AEST

Re: Numb again

@Zoe7
I will gladly share with you.
I always hand a bucket of m&ms .

I did try to tell them this bit it didn't go off well . But that doesn't matter. I am not going to change my sexuality for anything . I mean I almost lost my ability to Beath for my sexuality. I hope that one day they will respect that atleast. But let's see .

Wow I don't know much about any sport .but it's awsome that you have international names going .

In response to: Re: Numb again

Zoe7Senior Contributor17 Apr 2020, 10:00 pm AEST

Re: Numb again

Yes you did - but you are still here and I for one am grateful for that The family may or may not come around but you are right - you are who you are and it is your life to live. Luckily we live in a world where perceptions and attitudes are changing - love is love - with whoever you find that with @Pollyotter

I used to travel to Melbourne every year to see my favourite tennis player play. I have only been a couple of times since she retired over 15 years ago.

In response to: Re: Numb again

Zoe7Senior Contributor17 Apr 2020, 10:03 pm AEST

Re: Numb again

@Pollyotter

In response to: Re: Numb again

PollyotterSenior Contributor17 Apr 2020, 10:03 pm AEST

Re: Numb again

Do you know anything about St Andrews Church? @Zoe7

In response to: Re: Numb again

Zoe7Senior Contributor17 Apr 2020, 10:05 pm AEST

Re: Numb again

No I don't @Pollyotter Fill me in...

In response to: Re: Numb again

PollyotterSenior Contributor17 Apr 2020, 10:08 pm AEST

Re: Numb again

@Zoe7
Well I was contacted by the one minister about my past . But I don't know much about them . I'm still abit skittish about churches as alot of them huge you so bad that you don't go back. I don't want go spend time talking to someone if they are just going to throw it at me

In response to: Re: Numb again

Zoe7Senior Contributor17 Apr 2020, 10:11 pm AEST

Re: Numb again

I suppose it depends on what you need too @Pollyotter If you are going to receive support then that is great but you may need to make that first step to see if it is a right fit for you. This is not an area I am that familiar with - my only advice is to do what makes you comfortable.

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