Fear of getting old

thanks, @Decadian @BlueBay@Mazarita@Former-Member for bringing up this subject.

the way I deal with it is to just look at it as turning a page, we do as much as we can for our loved ones and the community as a whole we survive as best we can( often with one or two hands behind our back) because of limits put on us because of our illness. God is important to me being around like minded people like everyone here helps me understand myself and going to church when I'm well. and preparing practically as best i can and money to pay for my funeral. do good and good may come back.

Right @Former-Member

I think fear of getting old is a much bigger issue - the thought of losing control is horrible

Sometimes our dignity is all we have left - and yet having help with the most intimate of things - our privacy is invaded - and we have a title - "old man" - or "old lady" - and "elderly" - the last is more polite - and this older woman is no lady - I speak my mind

I spent a few days in Respite a few years back - and it was horrible - and although the hospital was paying for it - I left early - it was clean and new and the personal staff were great - but the nurse was a bitch and I think many of the permanent - whoops - I almost wrote "inmates" had to "get used to it".

My mother totally lost her dignity - dementia does that - but which came first - the place where she lived was high class - but after my father died she lost the plot and never found it.

But Dad - he was helpless and blind - but he had an aura of dignity - somehow he maintain his inate nobility until he died - and went easily and fairly quickly

People live for a long time in my family - I don't really want to be around that long - but it might happen - so I intend to live a heathy life and practise things that keep the brain and body healthy

Decadian

Yes @hope77

Having faith is an important issue - and whatever the religion - it is better than no religion

And it must be practised -

But I certainly believe in God - I believe in the Resurection and the Life

I can't imagine being any other way

Decadian

in away I use my smoking and was told that my illness stats were that people with my illness have a lot of trouble with heart disease so I hope that I go quickly. not really a good attitude working on it

I too fear growing old. Fear of ending up on a nursing home where much will be out of my control. My social phobia is my biggest concern, because i just cant be around people all the time.

I dont fear dying. Dying would be a welcome relief. But i do fear how i will die. Havent got much control over that either. So for now take each day as it comes.

know what you mean I hope in later years I will be able to look after myself. social phobia is my problem too and have worked in a few nursing homes can't see myself thriving in one of those. but at the same time if my children or the community couldn't or wouldn't look after me I would have to accept it. not something I think about a lot like everyone is saying take a day at a time.

know what you mean I hope in later years I will be able to look after myself. social phobia is my problem too and have worked in a few nursing homes can't see myself thriving in one of those. but at the same time if my children or the community couldn't or wouldn't look after me I would have to accept it. not something I think about a lot like everyone is saying take a day at a time.

There's so many ideas here

@hope77@Chris@Former-Member@BlueBay@Mazarita

People are afraid of growing old - I think I am too - but I have a contingency plan - I will make sure if I have to go into care I will find a good place - or else - Plan B

I don't like the thought of being surrounded with people I don't know - all with their little oddities - and I don't feel a need to like having to accommodate other people

Not social phobia - it doing I want when I want to and please don't wake me up when I am having the best dream ever

I don't think my mother had to go into care as early as she did - but Dad was blind and frail and had short-term memory loss and it all came down to her - so they went in together - and she thought she was looking after Dad -

But it was all for her too - and they gave her an A-Frame - and she started using it and then needing it and went downhill fast

When Dad died she had to go into a higher level of care - I guess she could not face life alone without my father - strange thing - I have run my life alone for 26 years - I don't expect other people to do things but I have domestic help from the council - and drivers - which I pay for

But what was my mother thinking when she snarled at people?

I want to stay in this unit for the rest of my life - with help from an agency - and this is my choice and as isolating as it can be sometimes - this is what I want

Old age is scary - and after a good serve on it - death will be a blessing

I might have - sure I have - missed someone - but I will catch up I am sure

Decadian

loved your response @Decadian feel the same hope I can live in my unit too hope I can have the help I need don't even now how to access it when I need it need help with my husband sometimes now it scares me to not know where to turn