Do i tell him he has dementia?

@outlander

You might find this dementia website helpful - here is their response to the question you are asking.

https://www.dementia.org.au/about-dementia-and-memory-loss/how-can-i-find-out-more/informing-the-person-with-dementia

@outlander Great advice you have received below from community members wlth real life experience .. I'm afraid this is fortunately something I haven't had to face into yet so not really helpful on this topic - however sending you resilience and carer hugs 🤗

hello @outlander

it is better to tell him than to lie about it

my mum thnks she is getting dementia , as she says she is forgetting things

I am not sure if her`s is dementia or old aged dementia

it is hard as a friend rang me last night ( I used to look after her when she was little ), her husband has dementia -- soo sad , he is only young

she was soooo upset yesterday and rang me up to have a tallk , we spend a long time talking xxx

@Former-Member , @eth , @Maggie , @Owlunar , @Former-Member

@outlander, whether he needs to be told/reminded that he has dementia is a bit uncertain. If he's largely unaware of it, it can be better sometimes to let it be rather than cause distress when he can't do anything about it, and won't remember what you've said ten minutes later.

My Dad was aware that his memory was playing up on him, and it bothered him. Now that he's in care, and knows that others are looking after the things he can't remember to do, he seems a lot more content. He's intelligent, so I'd tell him "The Diary (day to day memory) is playing up, but the Encyclopedia (long term knowledge) is still working". I wonder if that might help your Pop- being realistic about "You're forgetting things a bit, but....(point out something he's still good at that would really count for him)".

I don't draw attention to it when Dad forgets things. I'll tell him again as if it was the first time, and maybe sometimes the repetition helps him take it in... but I'm not around him every day. Mum used to get cross with him repeating himself, but I wonder if that was partially because it scared her to see him forgetting. He was the one who'd always been responsible for keeping track of bills and finances, and I think she felt a bit lost and confused when all that came back onto her.

I do agree you need some respite time out, but without an aged care assessment that might be hard to access? Yes, he would find losing his licence hard, but it sounds like he's past the point where he's safe to drive. My Dad's driving got pretty scary over time, and my sister and I were actually hugely relieved when the car broke down and he couldn't get it fixed, so he stopped driving. It made it hard for them to get around, but the alternative was that an accident was becoming a "when" not an "if", and who knows how serious it could have been.

I'm not sure what you should do. Probably take the advice of experts perhaps.

Sorry I'm of no use @outlander

Stay safe @outlander. We've had flooding here a few years back, not fun.