@The-red-centaur It makes sense I had a similar experience I was first told it was bpd because of self harm a suicide issues but never had any relationship issues or abandonment issues in the way that bpd does it was just self harm really. But I am now diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder which I hate to admit does explain a lot more of my life. Even the reason I was self harming was because of a 7 year long belief that the world wasn’t real and that I was being held hostage by demons essentially (it was a lot more complicated than that but that it the basic idea) .
i never told the professional about any of this until the last few years because I thought they were also demons who where trying to harm me and believed if I told them they would take me to another world and harm me there. (Again this is a long story but that the basic idea) So most of the motivation for my behavior was completely different to what the doctors thought it was and I was actually just really not with it but it had gone on so long that I was really good at hiding things. I was hearing things and seeing things and I still can’t fully get rid of the belief that my doctors are secretly plotting to harm me but the point it they didn’t try to figure out why I wouldn’t stop trying to hurt myself and just gave me the lazy diagnosis of bpd because I am female and self harmed and had bad mood swings.
Even the mood though was not the same as bpd it actually I think was a super long mixed episode but yeah I know a lot of people actually who have been told it was bpd cause the doctors couldn’t be bothered trying to look past the surface. So I highly doubt you made it up for attention and I know it is hard but try not to stress to much diagnoses are all not 100% anyway because it is all subjective and there are no actual tests you can do for them so there is always room for error.
