Made everything up?

Since my last suicide attempt I had a change in psychiatrist (due to the fact I'm in a surgical ward for 3 months, so I now see the hospitals CL) who reverted my diagnosis to BPD.
It's made me wonder if I ever was really psychotic over the years and just made everything up (to the point in believing) and my hallucinations and delusions were just fake for attention. Like someone who made stuff up to get others to think they're sicker for attention.

Anyway i kinda feel like that.

Voices told me to attempt suicide but maybe I just made that up too and I'm just a stupid pathetic person that needs to die.