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Something’s not right

Feeling destructive

Feeling destructive

I am having thoughts constantly about being so destructive when I next see my psych. I can visualise it so much, so clearly that I want to do it.

I visualise that I feel so angry inside that I release all this emotion at my session. I start throwing things around, screaming, kicking things etc etc.

I am seeing my psych this coming Tuesday.

21 replies

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In response to: Feeling destructive

Re: Feeling destructive

Hey @BlueBay

In response to: Feeling destructive

Re: Feeling destructive

Throwing things and screaming at your session is never a good idea... Either they kick you out, or take you to the hospital after calling cops.

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles though, hugs.

In response to: Feeling destructive

Re: Feeling destructive

@BlueBay, it sounds like this desire to be destructive has been a long time coming, is that right? Is there something about the sessions you've been having that have left you feeling this frustrated? What other ways can you resolve that?

In response to: Re: Feeling destructive

Re: Feeling destructive

Hi @Crazy_Bug_Lady @Snuchu @JoseJones

I think you're right @JoseJones it probably has been brewing in me for a while. I don't think my psych understands me enough; i don't think he gets me. He is always so 'easy going' when I talk to him; it's like he doesn't take me serious enough.

You know @Snuchu maybe in my head that's what I want. Someone to put me back into hospital. Because I have wanted that for a while and he keeps saying no.

But the thoughts of being destructive, I haven't done yet. But I so wish I could.

Maybe it's my inner child screaming for help, love and nurturing. something i didn't get especially after being sexually abused.

In response to: Re: Feeling destructive

Re: Feeling destructive

Hey @Snuchu

How are you coping in hospital? I have been thinking about you.

In response to: Feeling destructive

Re: Feeling destructive

Sorry @BlueBay I meant to write more but pressed 'send' too early. And then I didn't really know what to say...
Have you tried talking to them about how you feel?? When I first tlstarted seeing my PDoc she would write the whole session. Tell me I need to work on eye contact, but she was always looking at her notes. One day I got sick of it and told her how much I hated that she was writing all the time. It felt like she wasn't paying attention to me.
Now she spends 5 minutes at the end of each session where she writes notes. The rest she pays attention to me.

Long story short... could you try to explain how irritating you find their lack of understanding??

Otherwise maybe try finding another??

In response to: Re: Feeling destructive

Re: Feeling destructive

@BlueBay, I've been officially discharged just yesterday, I'm doing well but I'm off to a bad start because I missed night meds and I relapsed on meth. I'm gonna tell my nurse though. Otherwise, I'm doing okay mood-wise.

Maybe you should go ahead and be destructive, if you want to be thrown in the hospital... but be wary of cops, and hopefully they don't take you to the cells.

In response to: Re: Feeling destructive

Re: Feeling destructive

Yeah @Crazy_Bug_Lady

I think I will write down what my destructive thoughts are and why I am feeling like this. I will give him the note and see what he says.

Thanks @Crazy_Bug_Lady

In response to: Re: Feeling destructive

Re: Feeling destructive

Well take care @Snuchu, hope things get better for you. Telling the nurse is a good step, it means you are owning up to what you did. And that is a good start.

Good luck. xxx

In response to: Re: Feeling destructive

Re: Feeling destructive

Thanks, @BlueBay, good luck to you too. I'm keeping you in my thoughts! 🙂

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