surgery & ptsd

@Former-Member

During the worst years of my life I took "breaks" in a private clinic - sometimes the other people there wondered what I was doing there - I seemed so "normal"

My starts - what the HE LL is normal.

But once - after a silly event - I took myself into a public hospital - bad idea - but I was in a bad place

For years I wonder if my behaviour there was a bad thing - I really did a lot of shouting and screaming - and I did not swallow my medication - I did not want to sit in a smoke filled room with the TV on at one end and the radio at the other with everyone staring at the world -

Enough of that buy my psychologist told me that it was the best place I could be to behave like that - it would not have been tolerated in a private clinic

I recovered -

I don't think any of the time we are being treated with whatever for our health - particularly our mental well being - we learn - everywhere in every circumstances people learn

I am sure all of that was really terrible for you - but wasted - I would say not - reading what you write - and knowing some of your past

Hugs though - I understand

Decadiam

You okay @Former-Member ?

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Hi @Former-Member hoping you are surviving. Thought you gave good tips in night shift thread .. take care

Hi @Former-Member

It is a small thing to check on someone who has had surgery - esp when you had the added stress of PTSD

And it is a very large thing to have people think of each other when they are under the weather -

It means a lot to me if I get flowers - but I do get some if not often

So in these forums our posts are our flowers - if I had the ability I would paint some - but I can photograph them

So I wonder if I can

Decadian

Oh wow - this is my special tree - it's not on my property - but it's one I took with my smart phone and the first I have posted in this forum

And it's for your @Former-Member

Ah @Former-Member

I just had a little adventure in my imagination - at the last minute that dress didn't fit!!!

Personally - I like to pick my own clothes - and while I am not a big girl - I am pretty lanky actually - but the girls are pretty and shapely friends - DD cup - and I have a tum and I don't like flashing my shape around either

And although my daughter doesn't want to come with me when I buy my funeral - she does come when I am buying other important things and I do like her imput -

I buy most of my clothes in the men's wear - it's cheaper and better quality. That's for shirts, jackets and shoes - and I like to be comfortable

You can't win with your Mum - I can guess - if you went out and bought exactly the same number she would hate it - ahhhhh - I had this with my mother

When I went got my inheritance - I went out and bought shirts and tracky pants and stuff that pleased me all last winter - and I know my mother turned in her grave

I know what you are talking about @Former-Member

I have been much better today - I had a phone call from the Red Cross about the early morning phone calls - telling them I have the medical alert system - and getting out of bed when I was stil asleep wasn't working for me - this is a hard time of year and I have done well.

So tomorrow I don't get a phone call at 8.30am or soon after - at least I hope so

And today I went shopping with a carer - as I do on Fridays - and I got another pair of PJs - it's years since I bought new PJs - and also a note book to start writing thought to my mother - and I have a lot of pencils and textas and I can use magazines and make a scrapbook of collages, borders and thoughts - and who knows - perhaps my mother does know

But someone will read it after I have gone - or not - but that is not my intention - I want to tell my mother my thoughts and feelings - stuff I kept to myself all my life

Our mothers - um - they do come out of the woodwork - I am one myself - I wonder if my daughter has problems like this - possibly not - she is a busy woman though she had been married a long time before I knew she had hated my cooking

Well @Former-Member - you might be having dreams because you had a GA - and also the stress you went though - and you have a cold or flu to bug you

Perhaps a bug cup of tea is in order - I said that aloud today - I sounded like a Kiwi - my family is full of them

Sleep well without dreams tonights

Decadian

Dress for your son on his special day @Former-Member ......

Don't give away what is for you and him, to meet the expectation of people who have not contributed to your happiness, as your son has .....

I can't really tell you what to do ..... it's your choice to make ...... but I hope, in this, and your future going forward, that you can honour yourself in a way that your mother and sister fell short of being able to do. I think there is a point where you can begin being mother to yourself, where you "retire" your mother's opinions in favour of your own. Sometimes it is a matter if coming to terms with the fact that you can - you are at liberty to do that if you choose - but it may take a while to get used to the idea.

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