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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

At my friend's place. Sunny and very windy day. We were out on the back porch for a while and it was almost a gale. Half expecting a branch of a tree to come flying past.

Did the hour trip on the buses to get here. It takes 7 minutes by car. Lol. Lucky I enjoy getting out on the buses. Will be catching the last bus home soon.

@PeppiPatty, my heart goes out to you about your relationship with your mother. I am sure studying formally at this time of my life would make me feel stupid, especially at first. But @outlander says it so well - the main thing is that you enjoy it. ox

Just at the bus stop now. Gotta go. Best afternoon to everyone. ox

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dearest @outlander

YES! This is Arlo when I picked him up from someone's home, he was very ill and had very long hair....he is very spoilt now!! here's a photo when he started getting fixed up.....

How are you @greenpea?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Do I know the story about facilitators @Mazarita......

I used to belong to a wonderful group but one of the facilitators was weird and ........too many times after the group had ended and I left quietly, one of the coordinators would call me apologizing and ...........yes yes, I realise that too many people had times of mental ill health and Other unmet needs but it began I was the one taking all the unconcious problems out........

Do you know what I mean ??

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sooo proud of you my very special friend @PeppiPatty

Hello @Faith-and-Hope, @Mazarita, @outlander, @Appleblossom xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have mixed experiences with facilitators, @PeppiPatty, but the art group facilitator is fantastic. She got me drawing, quite a nice picture it is too. A miracle. I have never been someone to draw before (usually just colour in). Wasn't any good at it at school so just gave up on that. She's changed my mind.

But I left a mental health support group because I felt the facilitator was shutting down people when they tried to speak. He kind of monopolised all the talking. Another group I haven't really warmed to the facilitator but I think it's just that she's a different kind of person than I usually spend time with. That can be a good thing, spending time with different kinds of people than we are used to. So I may go back to that one.

Hi @Shaz51, @outlander, @Faith-and-Hope, @Appleblossom, @eth, @Bunniekins and everyone. Hope today has treated you kindly and that the evening is peaceful.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hes really cute @PeppiPatty

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@PeppiPatty Aloe is gorgeous 🙂 I have a thing for staffys, pugs and french bull dogs. I would love to have one of those breeds too cute.

Staffys are a walking smile

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita that was an important about facilitators.

We have the right to our own feelings and responses to them, can observe behaviours, but be open to move from a comfort zone ... if we are in one... and a personality is fair but different from the ordinary.

I stretch myself with people, but I am getting to the point where I am also tired of being the one doing all the stretching ... eg in choirs ... any groups ... so getting grumpier ...deary me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, my favourite dog in the whole world was a staffy cross red heeler. She was a totally brilliant lovable dog, now passed sadly. She belonged to friends who loved her to bits, totally their baby. I met here when she was a really hyperactive pup who just loved everyone and would jump and lick and rocket around. Then she mellowed with age. I remember sitting out on on the top step of their back porch with her, just the two of us. I had my arm around her and the two of us just sat side by side looking out at the bush and sky. A special moment. I felt safe and calm with her. I love how you say they are a walking smile.

@Appleblossom, I try to stretch and trust that other people are stretching for me too, even if I can't see it. But I'm easily put off in some ways too. I would like to be more at ease with other people. In some ways I am probably too appeasing. In others, probably too rigid. We are who we are, at least for now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita a staffy cross red heeler would have been a very smart dog. Beautiful story Maz xxxx

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