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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

How's your day been, @Bunniekins? I wagged art group to go to my friend's place.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Ahahaha! Nothing wrong with 'wagging' I used to do it all the time when I was in high school 😛 By the sounds of it you had good reason. I went for a long beautiful walk in the winter sunshine 😄 bliss and then came home and ate a ton of choccy :p:p but that is okay the walk was great and the choccy was too.:D

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I used to stay home from school and watch midday movies, @Bunniekins. It was mainly because I was either depressed or highly anxious about going. So great you had that long beautiful walk.

I had shorter walks today, but good. My friend lives in a very relaxing suburb, so many trees and parks. At one stage while waiting on the empty suburban street for the bus, two ducks slowly waddled across the road, from one stretch of parkland to the other.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I was more angry than anxious I had alot of attitude .... I love ducks they are just too cute. We have alot of ducks where we are they are protected which is great. So happy that you had some quality time with your friend and going for a nice walk to top it off 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, disappeared there for a little bit to eat dinner: a boiled egg on toast. These new meds have lowered my appetite. With the ducks near me today, while they were coming across the road, a car came around the corner and slowed down to a crawl to let the ducks past. I like that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I am not very critical to start off, very unsure about deciding who is too straight or too bent to work out as a possible friend. Been working on levels of interaction and degrees of intimacy, for a long time now.

I do think I give people the idea they can "play me" ... so I am working on not giving too much away ... ahem ... for a long time I just had to be able to mention my brother and sister ... but that always gets me in hot water ... so now I am trying to learn to test people a bit and trust them only gradually ... it just has not always been possible ... cos I have been over stretched and brimming ... if you know what I mean.

@Bunniekins You are fun and probably a bit naughty too ... lol .. I am no longer naughty tho a police warned me not to wait to pick up my son in an area that was apparently one way that was not marked. sigh ... he said he would not fine me ... just as well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Maz why can't we talk about medication on the site .... I don't understand .... decreasing appetite would be good But as long as I go for a walk every day I really don't mind eating some chocky as I say it is the only sinful that that I do without chocky I would be bored out of my mind! Nice the people let the ducks go by I like that too 😄

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@AppleblossomI am much naughtier online than in rl. In rl I am just a regular mum with an mi ... you know what I am saying lol.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

ahah @Bunniekins... just a little escapist fun by the pea! ... me too ... I was so boring for 15 years. I was trying to bore my son back to school etc ...

When I started my family there was a lot of negative attention given to a mum with a MI and Protective Services tested me and gave me the baby .. it put me in all sorts of double bind .. and I had to look after her MH as well as my partner and the child ... so when mine went downhill ... it was very weird ... I have never been properly diagnosed yet. I am not sure if that is good or bad. All the people around me who had diagnoses were very clear in their onset ... but nothing was clear or simple about me. It made me VERY isolated for a long time. Could not have a mum convo for 20 years .. eventually my parents (of students) started telling me their stuff!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think I get what you are saying, @Appleblossom, about mentioning your brother and sister. At a much milder level, I feel awkward about meeting working people and am terrified of that question, 'what do you do?', meaning what's my job. It's always just too hard to explain and I have no grace in that situation and usually just blurt out stuff about chronic health problems, not rarely do I mention bipolar without really wanting to reveal that but feeling somehow obliged. I know I shouldn't feel obliged and there are better ways to handle it, but often it just turns out the same way anyway.

In other ways, I feel okay with other people sometimes, but it very much depends on the situation. Not very keen on large numbers of people anymore.

@Bunniekins, I think it's because, on other mental health sites, medication has become almost the only issue discussed between people. Here there is a much better community in many ways because there isn't that endless chatter about meds. I can see it both ways, I guess, but would support a single area on the forum where that was discussed. If you were interested in finding out about meds that have less weight gain, I'd suggest googling for that and then maybe talking to your psychiatrist about it. That's pretty much what I did, except I just presented my fears about my continuing weight gain to my psychiatrist, and he agreed we should do something about it if possible. But I haven't lost any weight yet so whether it really works remains to be seen. You can have all the chocolate at our get togethers, GP. I'll have the strawberry treats.

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