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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita

mum is feeling a bit better this morning finally , have to wait for the doctor to decide to do surgery or not '

and find out why it is happening and how to stop it recurring

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's great that she is feeling better this morning, @Shaz51. What symptoms has she been having? I hope they ease without surgery being needed.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

she has a bowel obstruction @Mazarita

the symptoms were very bad stomach pain , vomitting , her blood pressure went to 204 , swollen stomach

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's awful for her, @Shaz51. I've had a partial bowel obstruction with the Crohns Disease and even that was terrible. Can only imagine how it is for her with a complete obstruction. Sending kindest wishes for her recovery.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dearest @Faith-and-Hope

PP Rave today

@Mazarita @Shaz51 @eth @Exoplanet @outlander @Darcy, @Bella1978, @Faith-and-Hope, @Determined, @Wanderer @Former-Member @Former-Member @NikNik @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Determined, @Grasshopper3, @Sophia1, @Adge

I don't know if this is how you feel:

I can sense that my situation is different because it's not my husband or his family but whenever I do something......

I feel this disapproval behind me of my Mum saying that she is so much more intelligent than me and what I'm doing is something she is a quality person about and if she tells enough people, I truly am stupid.

It's like a rod behind my back. I went to my MILs yesterday and incomplete reversal, she was reading all my notes and she yelled ( she's a retired Deputy Head of a prestigious high school here) but kept on telling me I knew exactly what the abstract papers were writing about but I'm not writing them properly, it was like I write backwards.

It's very very confusing. I feel like a small child.

What do I do? Sit up and keep on writing. Keep busy. Today clean the bedroom.

What about you? Anyone?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@PeppiPatty

Tertiary study can be a challenge but still worth while. Before I went to uni I went to night school and looked up to the only 2 educated people in my social arena. An aunt and uncle. I showed him my essays and he just scrawled red biro all over it making me feel one inch tall. People all have their own opinions and style. 30 years later I can see how petty and horrible that was, but at the time, I was looking everywhere for advice and responsible support. .. hah ... but thats my life. You have the opposite problem too many high flyers....

It is really up to you. Your individual work and YOUR satisfaction. Dont take on a big workload, knock it off one subject at a time.

@Mazarita @eth @Exoplanet @Shaz51

Hope it is a good day for you all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

DEarest @Appleblossom

I'm finding this study extremely exciting. In the past, if I told someone about the enger that Mum showed me my Step Dad or she would either put me in a Psychiatric hospital or suggest for me to get put away.

Just like you. Those days are over. I am moving on.......Two immediate things are happening. One is that there is a community where people like @Zoe7 can say this is happening...

Some people understand @Mazarita like @eth and @Shaz51 is my very special friend. Every one is my friend here like @TAB or @plasmo ......or @Appleblossom you are my darling x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Bella @PeppiPatty I am proud of you.

Learning and knowledge can be exciting.

Thats your answer.

Blow off the nay sayers and do it in your time in your way.

They have a disability dept in most unis and I am sure they would support you and give you the same advice.

YAY YOU!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

“Sit up and keep on writing. Keep busy. Today clean the bedroom.“

Yes @PeppiPatty ..... keep right on doing the things you know you can do ❣️

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hoping your appts went well @Exoplanet im glad youve got some loveley supports. Im sorry to hear about the passing of the fello.

Afternoon @Mazarita @eth @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @Faith-and-Hope and everyone ( im sorry i cant remeber what everyones said! Having a brain fog but i hope your all well)


Hello dear @PeppiPatty rave away tour sounding both frustrated and upset which is understandable. Im sorry your family is ao hard on you. I can understand that too. Can be really hard to deal with but your doing the best you can.
Keep going with your studies esp if its something you enjoy. Find the things that give you inner peace.
Is that your little dog in the pic? He/she is pretty cute
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