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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good to know you listen to advice and will take care of yourself with the streets, @Bunniekins. I still like your freedom of spirit.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wild cats can be pretty scary, @Bunniekins. I've been a screaming cat myself at times. I scared myself, lol.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Mazy I need some advice .,, woman of the village.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'll do my best, @Bunniekins

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I have always been a spiritual person but never brought up with any religion properly in any case. A smiggen here and there and myriad of this and that .... a porridge of religions and nothing at all. So for someone like myself it was always a bit of a mess.

I feel like I need something more in my life some kind of spirituality BUT I cannot believe everything that is preached it is too hocus pocus for my liking .... I like science and spirituality on my own terms .... how can I blend the two together. Is it possible? or am I doomed to be this person on the fringes who never gets settled on either.

I also want/need the community in a social sense to broaden my friendships, What do you think?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like you are looking for a spiritual kind of community, @Bunniekins, with perhaps a questioning kind of philosophy based in rational thinking. Or a community where different views on spirituality are welcomed.

When I was younger I was searching for something like that and got involved with a couple of spiritual sects for a while. Also, Buddhism I was drawn to. I particularly like group meditation. That makes meditation so much easier and more rewarding for me.

But I've never really wanted to 'join' any spiritual group, so I've kind of just been drawn to people with somewhat similar views on these matters, or at least open enough to discuss the issues and reach some understanding of each other, and learn something spiritual that way. And be able to laugh about differences between us too. This is C and my friend mainly, but other people I've met in the past.

The first thing that came to mind is Theosophy, which is not so much based in rationality. But is about embracing all spiritual paths and learning from the ones we are drawn to or come in contact with by chance.

My highest recommendation would be some kind of group meditation. It's so relaxing and wonderful at times.

I seem to remember though that maybe you are not into meditation?

These are just thoughts off the top of my head. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

o0o0oo0o0o0o ..... this Theosophy sounds interesting. I bet it is frowned upon by many of the religious communities.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes you are right I am not much into meditation .... I fall asleep. @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I don't know much more about it, @Bunniekins, I imagine it might be. I just sometimes frequented the Theosophy Society bookshop when I was younger, where I found texts on so many different spiritual paths. Some of them scared me!

In your situation and mine, in which we put together some kind of spirituality in fragments, I know what you're saying about how it can end up being a bit confusing. My suggestions in the previous post may not really help with that much.

I hear you on wanting the community and both the spiritual and the rational. I feel kind of the same in what I seek.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I love 'There is no relgion higher than the truth' .... but what do we know is the truth? This stuff does my head in .... I am definately going to do some of these courses and see 😉

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