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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Here's an web page that looks a bit interesting on this subject:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secular_spirituality

Haven't read it all and don't feel you need to either, @Bunniekins. Just the first paragraph interested me.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Mazy do you believe in life after death?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins at some point in my life I realised everything could be argued in its opposite. That kind of ended my faith in any kind of absolute truth. I was thinking my head off at that time, trying to get to the bottom of things, only to find there isn't really a bottom. That's left me with relative truth, different truths for different people and truth in some situations but not all. That kind of thing. Mostly I just ponder things without coming up with a lot of answers, lol.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

For me the question of life after death is a mystery we weren't meant to know, as no-one has first hand experience of it, @Bunniekins. I'll find out when I get there, that's pretty much my attitude. Having said that, I notice that at times of great distress I do seem to call out for help to some higher power, don't know what that is. Could be a higher power of nature for all I know. And I kind of hope for a life after death, but not if it's going to be full of pain. Then I'd rather just rest in peace.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita secular spirituality sounds very interesting .... I like the idea of it being without the adherence of religion. As religion does and doesn't fit right with me .... it is like 50/50.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I am considering joining up with a church but I don't think I can do it as I do not believe everything that they do ... I have to believe in everything that they do before I take that big step forward. Oh I envy people who do not question and have faith I do not have faith as I cannot stop questioning ....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Here's something else I just found on the net, @Bunniekins...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunday_Assembly

Haven't read it all, but concept is interesting to me.

Do you believe in life after death? I think I recall that you do, related to your visions?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh I am the same as you with the endless questioning, @Bunniekins. You are right that it can erode faith in anything. Perhaps that's the core of my depression and withdrawal from life in some ways. At the least I live a fairly small life. But these days I appreciate simplicity more. I get a lot of spiritual feeling from nature, hearing birds, seeing ocean and hills in the other direction. Trees, flowers. That's when I'm in a headspace to properly look. Sometimes I walk around a bit oblivious. I'm probably most attuned to the sound around me and that helps me feel conncted.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@MazaritaYes I do believe in life after death but they donet talk ... that is a lie one did a friend to tell me he was well but my grandmother didn't she was about to cry, Once I had this dream where it was first person and I was heading for this old, delplated house. All the garden at the front was dying, it had smashed windows and everything was in tepid colouring. I was zooming in first person throughout the house looking for something and then got to the bathroom there was a figure mummified and sitting on a chair in the middle of the room with her hard bent over to her chin, arms hanging down, Totally naked and had obviously been that way for some time when I got lose I realised it was me. Bam I woke up.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I am the same way Mazy. Am just trying to be sociable and make friends. Maybe I shouldn't push though and let things progress naturally. Whatever I chose to do it has to be comfortable and not forced just to make 'friends'.

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