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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

C is a huge blessing in my life, @Bunniekins. Although he has no diagnosis, he's really mad as a hatter at times. He's also possibly the sanest and wisest person at times as well. Such a kind person, though rough as guts in other ways too. He's gold.

I think it's fantastic that you have such a good relationship with your ex.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Mazzy .... I hate, hate, hate, needyness in friendships. It is what drives me away in the opposite direction ... I know it is a case of give and take in friendships but my children suck whatever caring I basically have out of me and I need friends who are self sufficient and strong in character. That is very hard to find. Most people want, want, want.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Yes having men like that in our lives is a valuable thing which I don't take for granted :).

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, so with you on that. I think with me it's that I know how unreliable I am. I can barely nurture myself let alone have a lot of demands by friends. Also, I don't like getting involved with other people's dramas too much, as I have enough drama going on inside of me. Having said that, I will reach out willingly for other people when it's of my own free will, like a gift, rather than an expectation.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita You made me laugh Mazzy. I was like 'Yes, yes!' as I read your post. It should be treated as a gift not an expectation which is why us fire signs get on so well because we are independent in spirit even the ones who have been let's say shoved around by life.

I am going to do a group session soon over 6 weeks so when it starts I will be friendly to everyone and hopefully the group will meet up for coffee after the group finishes if not that is okay too at least it is getting me out and about meeting new people and making possible friendships.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, that sounds great with the group. It reminds me of my art group. I may slowly be making friends there (very slowly), but haven't had much contact outside of the centre where it's held. Mostly it's just great to hang out with other people with MI, all of us doing something creative together for the time we are there. Happy you are starting that, GP.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Well Maz one final coffee before I head off. Thanks for the great conversation :D. Will talk later at some stage hopefully. Have a great day. Love greenpea xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Enjoy your early morning walk, @Bunniekins. Great chatting with you at length tonight. Catch you later.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I am really happy that you have that art group to go to a nice outlet to meet new people and do creative work and thanks Maz 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sorry I am a bit late @Bunniekins, I agree with @Mazarita -- With your pdoc, I would maybe not worry about it until next time you see them. Then ask them to clarify what they meant,

-20 degrees where your son lives @Bunniekins BRRRRRRRRRRR

Hello @outlander, @Exoplanet, @CheerBear

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