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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Both the fruit and the flavour, @Bunniekins, and the colour, lol.

Will you still go out if it's raining?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Hmmm ... I just like the flavour .... probably all the sugar and artificial flavours :P.... Ummm ... when I was running I ran all the time became addicted to the high of running ... 40 degree heat or pouring rain I would run. I just loved it so much. If it is raining I will leave the walk to when I can see better so I dont fall over on something slippery (learned the hard way) but yes I will still go I think It would have to be pouring down to stop this pea :).

What have you got on today? Do you have a long weekend this weekend?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No long weekend here, @Bunniekins. But then all my weekends are long since I'm free during the week too.

No plans today aside from have a shower (and, with any luck, some housework I didn't do yesterday). I am pretty into my video at the moment so may end up doing a fair bit of that. There's also a possibility that C and I will end up at friend's place sometime, or maybe not. We'll see.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I love that maybe end up at a friend's place, maybe not such a great attitude to life :). I cleaned the bathroom yesterday and did some washing I might tackle some vacuuming today if son1 doesnt come up but then again maybe not 😄

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I will be at my friend's place in a flash if she wants us, @Bunniekins. We are very close, have known each other for about 15 years, and see each other at least 3 times a week most weeks. But it depends how taken up with other things she is, and I'm always cool with that. She also has a lot of health problems so not always up to visits, but most of the time she is into it too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Okay Maz I have a question which I hope you might be able to help me with. I find it very hard to keep friends. I just don't want them badly enough I suppose .... I think it all stems from my mother who has hoards of them and we had to go to outings everyweekend with friends and they would invite their children along too who we had to play with and I hated it.... this went on throughout my childhood.

As a teenager I had lots of friends some close but I gradually grew out of them when I met my soon to be husband and then the kids came with son2 troubles I could never have true friendships. Now I am in the situation where I really don't want them because I dont want to give up my independence .... is this a bad thing. Is this part of being bipolar and schizoaffective do you think. Or does it all come froma childhood which having friends over was suffa c ating.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, I've had friends come and go in my life. As I've got older though, I've come to value friendship more. However, it's still not easy for me to make really good friends like the one I mention all the time. She is a rarity for me really. I've never spent so much time with another woman in all my life (aside from my mum). Most times I find friendships too superficial, though I like to make friends where I can because I know it's better than becoming too isolated. And it's not a great idea to put all my eggs in one basket, so to speak. But it was different for me when I was a child. I am an only child and was really neglected in many ways as a child. I spent far too much time alone. This has left me fairly avoidant of people in a general sense. On the other hand I don't do all that well alone for too long. Not really an answer to your question, just my experience as it relates to what you said.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I am so sorry you had such a tough childhood Maz.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It was very tough, @Bunniekins, thanks for your kindness. Thinking more about your friends issue though, I think it is a good idea to try to make friends and put in the effort to maintain them to some degree. It's not a great life being too socially isolated and, although you have your kids, they may not satisfy those needs really. Having said that, I don't do well with friends who get very needy with me. I then feel pressured and resentful and tend to walk away.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I am really happy that you have C there with you :).

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