FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

831 - 840 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

First appointment with my new psychologist today. Question to self: what am I hoping for in this process? At our last meeting, my psychiatrist and I discussed a couple of key areas I could work on with the psychologist: deep guilt/shame feelings I have from past actions and experiences; and my problems with self-care (for example, showering and domestics). Aside from these preconceived areas of focus, I imagine other things might arise in the process and I want to go with the flow. Seems useful to write these things down, so I don't forget what I'm there for and don't get lost or disconnected, as I sometimes do in sessions with therapists.

@eth, are you around this morning? I will be awake until just after dawn again, I imagine. And, as if on cue, I just heard the first bird calling. It will be a while still before the sun comes up though, so I'll likely be around for a little while yet...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita I'm around now if you still are.

I'm always nervous starting with a new psychologist. I think it's a really good idea to take a list or some notes in with you. It's also good to ask them about their special psych fields of interest early in the session. The first ap't is usually mostly giving your history and sorting out any 'housekeeping' details. I always look for someone with bipolar, PTSD, and trauma recovery interests. Hope this helps.

My nerves can affect my memory so if they give me homework or activities to do I ask them to write them down for me. Don't forget you are allowed to shop around for the most suitable psychologist if you don't feel a rapport with one, but also remember that this can eat up your MHCP ap'ts available for the year (6 at first, then review and new ref from GP for another 4).

If we don't connect this morn then take my best wishes for a good session.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Mazy @Mazarita 🙂

Wishing you well with your new Psychologist today I know what I hope you get from it . . . Peace

I had a thought about hygiene the other day, it came out of nowhere and was quiet poignant, so I wrote it down - I'll just find it . . .

Just had a thought - it's a weird one
I think it's healthier to get sick than it is to wash your hands!

Maybe not just that cut and dry, I certainly don't think it's unhealthy to wash your hands! I do believe Human Beings have a natural instinct for cleanliness and grooming, . . . just not to the extent that our societies have today. I think in nature it is simply pressumed that germs and viruses are everywhere and that's why our bodies are geared to fight them off. It's mainly only a problem and causes illness if it's a germ our bodies haven't encountered and created the anti-bodies for. So by getting ours hands dirty and then eating we are helping our bodies by introducing them to viruses so they can make the anti-virus and the next time that nasty little bug enters our system - it doesn't affect us. I think because we are now so obsessed with cleanliness we are breeding generations of less intelligent bodies. Although I think it needs to be factored in that the longer the Earth exists the more varieties of viruses there will be - evolution doesn't stop - and I also believe that plagues {like the Human race} naturally create an abundant feeding ground for viruses, natures way of culling a plague when it reaches too big in numbers.

Well that was my thought - just came out of know where?

How do you go talking to these Doctors? I've never been able to and always wondered how people go about it. For when I walked into those clinical, quiet closed rooms, and sat in front of a authoritative, extremely self-controlled, professional man . . . it always felt like I was in trouble and the interrogation was about to begin. I went to one female, and her 'office' was a house that had been renovated and decorated in oriental style, with lots of Buddas and meditation stuff. The actual room we went into had a lot of charts and things on the walls. She was the one who explained a lot of the physical side-affects I get, and probably the one I got the most help from.

Anyhow, good luck with today, I hope he's a good Doctor 🙂

Love Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, @Former-Member, thanks for your messages earlier.

eth, good tips, thank you. I will have a look at those again before I leave and make some notes before appointment, which isn't until 2.30pm.

Niqua, I'm seeing a psychologist today, not a doctor. She's a woman. Interesting what you say about the different spaces that your therapists worked from. The first psychiatrist I saw (for 13 years on and off), worked from his home. But I've never been particularly troubled by the actual space I've been in for these kinds of meetings either way, though it is nicer when some care has been taken in the creation of the space. This can be difficult for psychiatrists because they are often working in the medical context of a hospital, as with my psychiatrist. Hospitals tend to be clinical spaces, but I don't take this as a negative reflection on the doctor themselves.

I guess in all of these kinds of meetings, whether psychiatrist or psychologist or some other kind of counsellor, I look on the experience as a bit ritualistic. What I mean by that is it's a space that is a bit removed from everyday life and has different 'rules' than everyday life. I embrace the aspect of speaking intimately in a private space with a stranger. In real life, some of my deepest conversations have been with people I've met only once in my life, strangers who somehow I've been able to open up with precisely because they are not a part of my regular life and the relationship will be only transitory. This forum has some of this 'magical' aspect for me too. I find the relative anonymity liberating.

I also consciously encourage humility in myself when approaching such psych work. Such work involves me being open to new awarenesses about myself, things that someone with special training in these fields may be able to uncover. I don't look for a friend in a therapist. I look for someone who will hopefully be able to find a good balance between challenging me and being gentle enough that I can process what I find (and not just recoil and run away, as I sometimes have done in the past).

I do understand though about how you have felt a bit like you were visiting a school principal. I think it sometimes also depends on the conditions surrounding these sessions. I have never been 'required' to see a psychiatrist or psychologist, as happens with involuntary admissions, for example. It's always been a choice for me to see these people, in order to help myself with my life. Regardless of how odd the process has felt at times, I am grateful for the help I've received from these people. My first psychiatrist probably saved my life. At the least he was a lifeline through one of the most perilous periods of my life.

Thanks so much for your good wishes on today too, Niqua. Will probably be posting about how it went afterwards.

p.s. Niqua, I agree with you on some of those hygiene thoughts. But regularly going 9 days without a shower depresses me. I would be okay with every two to three days and always aim for that, but often don't manage it for some crazy reason. I will be having a shower today though before I go to the psychologist!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Are you around now @Mazarita or on your way already? Hope it goes well. Only just saw your message. I've been doing some more on a dream catcher I'm making and had the computer off. Hopefully we'll connect at some stage today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, yes I am here now for a little while before going off to the appointment.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry @Mazarita yet again I missed your message coming in. If you're still there I'll keep this open. How are you feeling about the ap't now? I find for me it's best to let go of any concepts about what will happen and try to just be 'in the moment' about new therapists. The more you tell them, the better they can help you. Lots of love and strength to you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

S&*t timing!! I said I'd have lunch with bro and here he comes. Catch you later @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @eth. I'll be leaving in half an hour. I feel nervous and excited about the appointment. At the same time, I am aware that the first session is really a 'getting to know you' and will likely involve a fair bit of retelling of life history. As you've suggested, I'll be trying to keep myself open to the moment. Have already made some notes, but have kept them fairly minimal for this first session.

What is your dreamcatcher like? C has a huge one in his bedroom, full of crow feathers (he has a special relation with crows). What are dreamcatchers for in your view?

Edit: haha, just got your one about having to go to lunch. That's okay. We'll catch up later or possibly early tomorrow morning. I'm likely to post a bit of a 'rave' about the psychologist appointment before then.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Mazy @Mazarita🙂

I'm actually quiet glad that psychologists aren't Doctors {though I didn't know that} and that it's a woman your seeing 🙂 I'm surprised the actual places don't bother you, or facing a stranger. But then upon thinking about it, I don't remember you ever mentioning anxiety type symptoms. So {please excuse me if I'm asking something I shouldn't and let me know and then I'll know:)} is it the depression that keeps you in the flat and stops you going out and doing things? Is it a sense of sadness that keeps you awake at night? I've been told I have both, but then I also remember being told anxiety is depression, just a different form? I feel illogical fear when I go out, like everyone is watching me, planning to harm me in some way. Paranoia I guess, don't think I ever had that one thrown at me; but then I can't talk to these people, all they get is this blubbering, dribbling mess. I don't blame them for not being able to help me, because I'm not able to let them. My deepest conversations have probably been with total strangers too . . . when I was totally off my head 🙂 and they're not much good to me because I can't remember them. Ah, the recoil and run-away thing; you've just described me to a 'T'; I think that's what the drinking and drugs were all about recoiling and running away, I have a lot a guilt due to important things I've simply run away from - deserted them; the guilt of weakness. I've never been forced to go to the Doctors, though in reality I knew I had too, if I didn't then I would be. My greatest fear is being locked up, trapped, I could not stand it. But in saying all that, I know it's a very individual thing and I hope your session today went really well and flowed easily (I'm guessing the first is mainly paperwork and 'getting to know each other'), and I'm looking forward to hearing all about it! The hygene thing, I'll go longer than 9 days sometimes . . . I'll go through Winter without bathing! (But I'm getting better, and my grotty puppies tend to come to the rescue there! :))

Streaming the love

Niqua

831 - 840 of 27,230