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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I'm very glad to hear you're feeling somewhat better. I'm good this morning - spent 24hrs up at the farm with my bro saturday/sunday. Worked hard yesterday and had a lovely time at the firepit the night before. Telling family stories, sorting out the facts from the psychotic fictions and singing our favourite songs from childhood while he played guitar - just magic! I had a fire sunday morn too. Loved it. So many birds when they started but the highlight was getting swooped by 3 crimson rosellas.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, the farm visit sounds wonderful. Is it your brother's farm? Great that you are having such bonding experiences together. Were you close at other times in your life before you moved to where you are now? I had a nod of recognition about sorting out truth from psychotic fiction. Since I received the clear bipolar 1 diagnosis recently, I've had a lot of memories arising in which I'm trying to do the same. A humbling process, in a good way I think. I didn't know rosellas swooped! It's only the magpies we have to watch out for here. Got swooped just a couple of weeks ago, not even the season for it, I don't think. How great that you are getting the pit fires. I really miss open fires.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita bro and sil have shares in an intentional community near Stroud, near the Barrington Tops. A beautiful patch of land with the confluence of 2 rivers on it. We've had brief periods of being close but since living here (nearly 8 months!!!?!) we naturally have an evolving relationship more than ever before.

Humbling memories indeed... I wrote a story about one episode that went for months and read it to him sat night. It brought up a lot of stuff for him. But mainly because he's tried hard to be a loving, supportive brother all along (18 mths younger than me) and at times I've believed all sorts of rotten stuff about him that wasn't true e.g. he's a PhD and I said he masqueraded as a medical Dr to get me into hospital involuntarily one time ......fact : I was admitted voluntarily (proven by correspondence with the hospital that he has) ..... so you can imagine how challenging some of our talk was, but it was good to do it and clear the air and set the record straight and I reckon I was ready for it.

The rosellas weren't trying to hit me, just saying hello and checking out the fire I reckon.

I once got hit by a maggie too. Did some damage. Hit me between temple and eye and I bled a lot. I actually heard it accelerate it's wing flapping just before it hit.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I take it an intentional community a similar sort of thing as a commune. One of my dearest friends has some kind of share in a community like that near the Vic/NSW border. Beautiful that there are two rivers meeting at your farm. Your memories of your admission are striking. I have, perhaps always, had a problem with thinking lots bad or suspicious thoughts about people I love. A kind of paranoia. There are some particularly painful memories of perceptions I have had, and even been obsessed by, in my younger years. This trait in me has really got in the way of my relationships too. At times I have been very accusatory towards partners. I am now coming to recognise how out of whack these perceptions can be in me. I'm hoping to process some of this with the new psychologist. That appointment is coming up tomorrow.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I wish you well with the process @Mazarita. ATM I'm working with the concept that in order to recover some more I need to face myself. It is doing the hard yards but it's time for me and I'm in a safe place. Within any fortnight I have psychologist, psychiatrist and 2 x 3 hr sessions of the living beyond abuse course. I def need my couple of days of doing as little as possible to balance with all that.

But another concept that helps is recognizing that there are some things I'll never know. Hope these ideas are helpful to you.

The intentional community I wouldn't call a commune as such coz they're not hippies (like I am!). They're all professional people but mostly work in ethically sound positions, with the shared values of caring for country, wild child rearing (my term), permaculture and so forth. Really just a multiple occupancy property but with a great sense of community between the families involved. Currently 8 adults from late thirties to sixties and 5 young kids plus some couples have adult kids too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

BRB @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, really glad you do get a couple of days to process the intensity of what you are doing at present. The intentional community sounds great. It is helpful for me sharing our experiences with each other. It makes sense to me too about there being some things I will never know. Deeply resonant actually. For quite some time now, I have had growing respect for the mystery of many things, rather than pursuing knowledge of everything, as I did when I was younger. Lots of questions still in my mind though and it seems like it could help to be able to talk about them in detail with the psychologist. On the other hand, I don't want to be too prescriptive about what we will be dealing with. I want to go with the flow on that too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think I'll take a little smoke break too, @eth. It's getting very light outside and the birds are singing beautiful, gentle wake up songs.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, now that the light has hit the sky, I'm getting sleepy. Probably time to hit the hay again. Thanks for another late night chat, my friend.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sweet dreams @Mazarita. You're ending your night while I'm starting my day

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