FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

841 - 850 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Mazarita how did you go today? Sorry about earlier timing.

I believe dreamcatchers serve 2 purposes. More commonly people say they filter all the dreams that come to a person and only let the beneficial ones through. I recently did a workshop on them and it was stated that when we make one it becomes our dreaming - we are represented in it. The workshop was on-line and about painting one (part of the woman unleashed program) and coincidently happened the night before I was booked to go to Sheilas in the Shed and learn how to make one. So far mine is only a large ring and a smaller ring bound with jute. I will weave the web with purple wool and insert some turquoise stones to represent the dew drop that catches the negative dreams to be evaporated when the sun strikes the next day. I really wanted it to be all natural fibres. Most of the women had much cheaper kits they bought. I spent nearly $50!! But I'm ok with that. The last one I had lasted 25 years....the feathers I have are a mixture of black, white and spotted and striped brown.. I'm planning to put my black cockatoo tail feather (big one) in the centre at the bottom.

Hoping to catch up with you soon and hear about your day.

PS My psychologist is a doctor, female and identifies as Aboriginal. Very compassionate and a great communicator. We are waiting to start EMDR when my meds stabilize. She said she'll work something out re payment once my MHCP sessions are used up as I only have 3 left for the year and she'd like to see me weekly for at least several months to do EMDR on so many traumas causing the cPTSD. She's also experienced with bipolar. I feel lucky to have found her. She's way better than any other I've had over the years.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, @Former-Member, I am about to go offline after being here for a couple of hours at the Topic Tuesday on menopause. I will write more later or overnight. Suffice to say for now, it was a great session with the psychologist. I warmed to her straight away. I think this is going to work out very well!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello and good night @Mazarita, @eth, @Former-Member, @outlander, @Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi and goodnight to you too @Shaz51. I'm going to do something else now. Hope you are ok. Warm wishes.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Niqua, it's been a big day and I'm only now finding the headspace to respond to your earlier post. You may be asleep by now, so this will be something for you to read tomorrow or when you next get to it.

I've been seeing psychiatrists (mostly) and psychologists (occasionally) for 28 years. So, even though I definitely do experience anxiety in general, I am by now very accustomed to the way things go in these kinds of meetings. The fact that I have been helped a great deal by seeing these people over the years also helps me face such things without falling victim to my worst fears.

The reasons why I sometimes get stuck in the flat and don't go out and do things are a bit complex and honestly not fully understood by me, but involve both anxiety and depression. It's not a sense of sadness that keeps me awake at night. If anything, I enjoy the night too much: the quiet, the clearer headspace, the sense of nothing being required of me at this time of night.

I haven't heard it said before that anxiety and depression are different manifestations of the same thing, but it could be the case. I know for sure I have sometimes fallen into depressions because my body and mind just couldn't handle the intensity of the anxiety I was feeling anymore. At other times, my anxieties have possibly activated me out of depressed states. There definitely seems to be a connection between the two.

What you describe of your feelings of fear of people, that they are watching and may want to hurt you, is familiar to me too from the past, though I'm not suffering from this enormously at present. I had that feeling a lot when I was a child in particular. Even now, if some group of strangers on the street are laughing amongst themselves, I immediately suspect they might be laughing at me. I do call this trait in me paranoia, though I am guessing I have a mild form of it compared to how full blown it can become for some people.

Where you are, closer to nature and living alone, not having showers might be less of an issue. I think the main thing is how we feel about it ourselves. I notice that my mood goes down if I go too long without a shower, and as the days keep clocking up without one, I am less likely to leave the flat. I don't go out at all if I can't present an okay facade to the world. I just feel too vulnerable out there in public otherwise. This is not how I think I 'should' be, it's just how I am. So if I can move towards a shower every two to three days, rather than every nine, that would be helpful in a number of ways. Good start this week, I had one today. 🙂

Eth, nice coincidence with the online course about dreamcatchers and the women's shed session on how to make one. I love the idea of it being all natural fibres, and the imagery of turquoise stones representing dewdrops of 'caught' dreams that evaporate with the sunrise. Purple is a colour I also love. I have clothes in different shades of purple and a set of deep purple sheets, my favourite bedlinen. Also two purple throws I bought cheap at a clearance sale. 25 years is quite a time for a dreamcatcher to last! Your psychologist sounds awesome.

Well now, this post has gone on for long enough without me starting on my psychology session. So I think I'll save a long rave about that for maybe later in the night or later in general. As I said though, I think this woman is going to be really great. Quite a contrast to the last two I saw and, even after only one session, I can already say I feel a natural connection to this psychologist, much more than any I have seen before. She too is bulk billing me, for which I am grateful.

@Former-Member, @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad you have found good psychologists @Mazarita and @eth

It makes a difference.

Mine are working well enough for me at the moment which is a huge boon that i did not have when I joined the forum. Relating here helped me keep faith with being human and being real and hang on til help arrived.

Love your grotty puppies that hellpp @Former-Member

Had a few dog works lately with a lovely lady who is a new friend... and walks and talks at the same speeds as I do.

Good to see you still around @Mazarita nights and home can be our comfortable places and mental spaces. Its just keeping balance, which always needs tweaking.

The whole clean and dirt and hygeine and sick thing ... is complex

eg: white food being over refined ... not better or more pure ....

too clean is creating more allergies and not good for our immune systems

and bugs can be good and they are not all germs ... so we have to face up to that mucky place the gut and its processes.

I have a lot of mental processes wrapped in dirt and earth and being grounded too.

Fecundity and fertility

We just have to figure out levels of ripeness.

Love to you all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita Hi @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita are you awake for a chat?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just woken up, @eth. Wonder if you are still around...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom, so good to see you around on the forum again. Great to hear your psychologist is helping. I still remember that we joined the forum at almost exactly the same time a bit over two years ago. I remember too that we were both in much more isolated places at that time. Great to hear too about your new friend, and that your rhythms are closely aligned. I get how that could be an attractor and a bond.

I relate to what you said about 'facing up to the gut'. Having to put my awareness in 'that area' bothered me enormously when Crohns first appeared in my life all those years ago (getting on to 30 years ago). These days I'm used to it, though I still wish I didn't have to be so used to it.

Hope today treats you well, Apple.

841 - 850 of 27,230