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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a plan @Bunniekins. I might do similar - I'm still in my jammies! Putting things off this morning - none of it is essential except cooking tonight.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That was a lovely story about the Aboriginal balladist ...

I met a lovely young Chilean on the train and he was reading Carolos Castanedos and we talked about all that stuff and Catholicism and the pope. He had only been in Australia for 2 weeks. Melbourne is such a different city.

I had 2 racism incidents on the train this week.

i) A young unemployed male disrupted and stood over an older slightly drunken male. Supposedly in defense of 2 young "modest" women. The young man was sitting in front of me but the 2 women were behind me and I did not see the beginning of the situation. I turned and checked with the women when I realised something was going on and they smiled, nodded and said they were fine and it was an overreaction, but the young male kept on loudly calling out the old man as participating in racist behaviour. He escalated, moving the old mans belongings, insisted the old man move seats and pressed emergency button. The police came. They let the old man off but spent a fair time speaking to him.

As the 2 young women left they thanked him.. but called it an overreaction. The women had Australian accents and apparently were handling the questions of the older man who had asked them how they felt wearing the veil.

After the police and the young women left a middle aged man from Johore came and joined a discussion with us. As we were talking the old man left the train ... I called out in a broad Aussie ... "see ya later mate"... and he thanked me. The young man almost cracked it at me, I said I did not want the older man to feel hate after the incident and reminded him that the girls called it an overreaction.

I tend to get people off the hook, it is a deeply ingrained pattern. The muslim man who had only been here 2 months "on business" connected with me a lot better than the young Aussie who just kept saying he was not afraid of speaking out.

In the end I felt it was really about the young man throwing his weight around on the train ... I mentioned I would not mind someone being protective of me. The muslim man and I talked about Pakistan and green energy and his business, in the end the young man calmed down and we agreed about ... Gina Rhinehart.

ii) The next day I had a completely different set of interactions which started from a racist outburst, generated by train timetable issues. I also understood both sides of this event and the man who at first got angry and kicked a bin, calmed down and thanked me as he left thge train.

That was my mothers day .... lots of train interactions ... all ending very positively.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wow @Appleblossom you're very brave speaking out in those situations. I can't catch a train by myself at all as I'd hit panic stations in those type of events and imagine much worse scenarios. You seem to have most interesting train trips.

@Mazarita @Bunniekins @outlander I booked the rest of my flights today and managed to do it without my hand tremor flaring up which made it a lot easier than when I booked the first one the other day. It's all fallen into place so well. I feel lucky and glad that I had saved for a few years before leaving Darwin. And lucky that I have such good friends even if they are a long way away.

Hoping you all achieved what you set out to do today and looking forward to catching up.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I have had one where a woman started abusing me ... but in last 10 years I have had tons of experiences and that was only one where I was borderline worried. Like my overseas travels it gives me hope in the human race. My family have not been as supported as yours and I have had to seek connection from others. I am oriented to good for all, maybe that helps. I used to more fearful, but getting a lot of good responses, is positive reinforcement for me ...

Glad you booked trips. You deserve it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Awesome that your trip is falling into place so well, @eth. 🙂

I am at my friend's place on mobile. Staying for dinner. Will get a lift home about 8pm. Spontaneous invite to visit as I was about to walk out the door to physio this morning. Physio went well. She worked on my lower back, which was caning this morning. Feel better for the treatment.

@Appleblossom, I remember some interesting random encounters with people on Melbourne trams over the years. You do seem to have a lot of interesting chance encounters.

Can't really stay online at the moment, but saw the messages and wanted to say hi in the afternoon. 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I couldn't be doing a lot of what I am without their support @Appleblossom. Spent many years isolated and frozen before I reached out and asked for help. Bro and sil really are special people with wonderful values. Sil's mother will be coming to live in their house next door soon so we'll really be a clan. They are even putting in a pool for her. They sound rich, but really they've worked extremely hard and been lucky to get where they are. A couple of houses they have owned sold for way more than they cost after much labour was put into them. Bro is 52 and currently works 3 jobs that are really 3 days a week each.

I am glad that you are able to cultivate connection with others. And that you have so many good responses. I spent many years estranged from my family so I kind of understand,tho circumstances are different now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita glad to hear physio went well. Have a lovely evening xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I remember you before you travelled to live with them @eth. Yes it does sound as if they have great values and are in a position to make things happen. It works out for some but not all. Because having good people on the planet is so important for society and the planet, I have learned not to get jealous... if ever I say I am jealous ... am just joking ...and more showing signs of approval ...

@outlander @Bunniekins @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom I agree wholeheartedly. I am just not a jealous person (unless is in a good way :)). Never have been. Life is too short to be jealous xx

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