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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I've talked to my mum too now, @eth. I did wake her up. She didn't go to bed last night until about 2am. Haha, like mother, like daughter. It wasn't a long chat. We tend to do that less than we used to, but oddly it keeps us out of trouble with each other. We are both so intense. We've talked about how we have often bonded over tears, and how we want to bond in a happier way if we can.

Kitchen is now tidy enough, dishes duty done. Computer still on disconnect with the net. Sun is shining outside, beautiful mild day here. Still feeling pretty exhausted but also glad to be up and getting things done. The walk to the shop was good for me too. 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Really glad you're feeling a bit better @Mazarita. Theory being if we get a little active then we can switch off more easily afterwards. I really like the sound of your relationship with your Mum. I told my mother this week that her frenetic constant busyness even at home is a hypomania trigger for me. Not sure if she really took it on board but she didn't react. I was concerned about her getting her nose out of joint at me staying with my sister instead when in Bris but she (Mum) has to go to hospital for some tests the day after I get there and may be kept in - I hope to find a way of visiting her or seeing her after that, but in a way that doesn't involve being her passenger in her car! I do care deeply for her but have to protect myself at the same time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @eth. Yes, my mum is wonderful. Even though I have to resist being whipped up by her intense energy too. I know it hasn't been easy for her with me too (to put it mildly). Cool that you spoke with your mum, despite difficulties. In whatever capacity we can.

Just had a tuna and mayo sandwich for lunch. Cracked pepper, a little salt. Bread seemed a little stale but that's just because it's been thawed from the freezer, I think. C bought three loaves to freeze before he left. I gave him a list and we stocked up on my basic staples, for his time away. Feeling well fed in a light way today. 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lovely that you can say that about your Mum @Mazarita Glad to hear you're eating well. I always keep my bread in the freezer and just thaw the slices I need. A loaf of bread can last me a month sometimes. You just reminded me I have some tuna and mayo too. Having some fruit first.

Dishes are done, washing hung out (2 loads), bed done, once through the fridge and compost out to the vegie garden, self cleaned and hair done, house plant having a soak, clothes washing put away. Seems like it's all or nothing when it comes to me and household and self-care. Still need to do my floor, it's covered in debris the dog brings in from the garden and fluff - it will make the most difference to the vibe in the cabin but I'm going to stop for a while and eat and maybe do it later. Also really should get on the exercise bike later, I've had a couple of days off with that. But it's time to be still for a while now.

It's really great that we can spend this time 'together' and help each other feel motivated @Mazarita. Much appreciated.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am so enjoying this virtual get together with you too, @eth. It has me fantsising again about some day meeting you in person. 😛

But I have to go offline for a while to charge my battery. Might use the time off the net to do some washing, now that the dishwasher is finished. Will be back later. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

If only @Mazarita Catch you later I hope. Have a good afternoon, hope you get some rest xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

way to go my friends @eth, @Mazarita

just got home , My MILand SIL live 30 minutes away , so nice lunch

had to take a big breath though as Mr shaz said I never cook things like SIL , ammm mate you don`t want me to cook those things

so MIL and SIL are sending me all theire recipes now -- am thanks -- he won`t eat them I tell you

ohh well , on the way home we put my mum``s bins out -- doors shut -- she must be asleep

home now , relaxing with a headache i have had all day

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51, @eth,

Sounds like a good day, Shaz. Tell Mr Shaz that I wouldn't dare say something like that to C - he might stop cooking for me! Glad you can take it easy with your headache now.

My mobile tablet is charged again now. Still can't get the net for more than a minute at a time on the desktop. Washing is done and on the line. Clothes only. Will save the bedding still in the basket for another day. Giving myself an internal hug for getting the washing done. Hug to you too, Eth, for being there to inspire. I've got a pie in the oven. Will have that as an early dinner, then snack on something later. Today has turned into a good day. Have even done some more on the current video.

It's been a lovely sunny day but it's already much chillier now as evening is approaching. I have on leggings and track pants, cardigan and scarf. Still a bit chilly around the edges and continue to have the sneezes. I'll probably end up in my giant fluffy dressing gown soon.

SBS Chill Radio keeping me company. Will be watching Eurovision tonight. No spoilers! 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

overall it was a good day my scotirish sister @Mazarita

Tell Mr Shaz that I wouldn't dare say something like that to C - he might stop cooking for me! ---

Haha Mr shaz never says anthing like that to me , he loves what I cook and he eats it all but I think my SIL took it another way xxx

getting cooler up here too , but only down to 18 degrees

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha, that's good that Mr Shaz appreciates your cooking, @Shaz51. 🙂

It's getting down to single digit temperatures this week. All warm now in my fluffy dressing gown. I try to avoid using the heating as much as I can by rugging up instead.

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