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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

brrrrrr @Mazarita, and we are thinking it is getting cooler xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita and @Shaz51 just saw your tags. Glad to hear the day has gone fairly well for you both. Temp just dropped suddenly with some more rain so dog and I are tucked up inside. I also try to rug up rather than use the heater Maz. Sounds like you're rugged up and cozy.

I seem to remember that you're in the tropics up north somewhere Shaz - the dry season should be starting with slightly cooler nights. I'm still getting used to having 4 seasons where I live now after 16 years in the top end.

Mr Shaz better be prepared for some different dishes now! Hope your headache eases now you're at home.

Bro and sil are on the way back from the farm now, will probably be home in about 1 1/2 hours. I'm hoping we'll all have some sort of take away dinner so will wait til they arrive before I do anything about dinner.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Mr Shaz better be prepared for some different dishes now! ---- ha ha yes @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just re-read some posts from earlier today @Mazarita. I hope I didn't sound like a hypocrite when I commented on Mum drinking her Mother's day gift card. I don't mean she should never drink, just that I'm disappointed she's not going to buy some nice garments for herself. And it seems like a refugee gathering wouldn't indulge that way. Hope this makes sense.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I understood what you meant, @eth. It seems kind of ironic that she might want to drink that much when in other ways she is franciscan in habit. And in some ways it doesn't seem the most appropriate for the gathering. My mum has had so many crazy habits. They still exasperate me. I guess I have a rose coloured faith in some part of me, that wants love to transcend those things. Which it does. But the flawed humanity of us remains to trouble us. ox

Glad to hear you and the dog are cosy for now. And that bro and sil will be home soon, maybe for a shared dinner. 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I share your sentiment about love transcending @Mazarita. I find it difficult being triggered by someone I love dearly (Mum).

I'm having a fb chat with a guy I was involved with many years ago. He's an aboriginal musician who writes balads and blues music. He gave me a special name, Native American when I was about 26 - the story was he went to the states playing with a famous person and travelled to many reservations. Some elders told him he would know when he met me to give me the name and a really old necklace. I could tell some stories about how it influenced my path as a massage therapist/hands on healer .... wish I could say more but it might identify me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope you are having a good reunion over fb, @eth. He sounds like a meaningful person in your life.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes he is but he's still a guy with a one track mind @Mazarita! I'm trying to talk him into getting on the playlist at the festival I'm going to in East Arnhem Land.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dinner will be here shortly so I'll catch up with you another time soon @Mazarita @Shaz51. Hope tonight is peaceful and restful for you both xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lol! @eth Thanks again for today. I feel a world of better now compared to this morning. Enjoy dinner and company! 😄 ox

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