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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have already had this conversation with you @Bunniekins but wanted to say again - I will really miss you You need to do what is right for you and hopefully you can pop back in ocassionally just to say hi and let us know how you are going ....positivity breeds positivity little pea and it is nice for everyone to see someone doing well - it can make such a difference to one's day! You are one special little pea

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning to everyone here. It feels like ages since I've been here on this thread (forum time can work so differently to not-forum time).

Great to hear you're doing so well @Bunniekins. It's been really nice to get to know you around the forum. Wishing you all the best for what's to come.

Thinking of you quite often at the moment @eth, as I am somewhat sinking in the NDIS process already, as part of a handful of sinking things happening together. My MH worker has all kinds of tips and hints that have come from the experiences of others. I know it doesn't help you and your situation, but I'm sure we're learning from this and it comes from those willing to stand up and speak out.

As often, thinking of you also @Mazarita wondering how you're doing and missing catching up with you.

Hoping there's good in today for everyone ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita @CheerBear @Sophia1 @Bunniekins @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @outlander and others passing by. Hope today is kind to you all.

Last night was really good - sil had an exhibition at the main gallery here, followed by listening to Bill McKibben's presentation (350.org) re climate change, followed by dinner at a nice restaurant, all with bro and sil. I handled the crowd at the gallery much better than the last exhibition I went to, which was a good feeling.

@Bunniekins I'll miss you too and will look forward to your occasional drop-ins whenever they might happen. Hope everything keeps going well for you.

@CheerBear sorry to hear about how the NDIS process is affecting you. Me too. Glad to hear your MH worker is helpful. My support worker does nothing about it but my psychologist is great. She's going to appear for me at the AAT hearing.

@Mazarita hope you had a restful night. Look forward to catching up with you. Yesterday was really windy here and my internet kept dropping out so I gave up trying.

@Sophia1 hope today is less painful for you.

@Appleblossom glad to hear your health is better. You sound very strong re the situation with your daughter and moving forward positively.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear, @eth and everyone,

I'm feeling blue because Niqua is leaving the forum.

I've just woken up and may stay awake this time. I was awake for 36 hours straight in recent days. I felt like I was on amphetamines (but wasn't). Mainly engaged with video editing for most of that time. But also visited my friend all afternoon yesterday on no sleep at all the night before. Didn't go to bed until about 9.30 last night.

Oddly, I'm feeling okay today, except that I am unhappy that Niqua is having to leave. Hard to lose a close forum friendship so suddenly. Understand the motivations for it (being stalked by an ex). Selfishly upset for my own loss nonetheless.

That's me at the moment.

CB, I'm so glad to see you here. Any time we meet is a good moment for me.

Eth, so good to hear about your night out. May there be many more good occasions like this for you.

Hi everyone passing through today. May it turn into one of the better days.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs @Mazarita its hard to lose people on the forums, though im glad in this instance there is a clear reason so not left wondering and worrying too..
Hope that you are okish and getting some sleep continues - maybe just an effect of med changes.. hope that it settles for you soon..
Take care of you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @Former-Member. It's all so sudden, I can't properly process it at the moment. Niqua and I had a very special kind of friendship, I felt. I can't believe there isn't another way around it. Always will love her and will remember her well. In fact, I did a sudden disappearing act myself for several months quite a while back, and actually believe the forum is only good for us as long as it is really good for us. Agree with the idea of people coming and going as needed. Doesn't stop me from hypocritically being upset about it. I will be okay though. Just a bit shocked and dismayed at the moment. How awful that it has come to this for Niqua more than anyone.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yes, agreeing too with people being able to come and go and ensure that the forums are helpful space @Mazarita - its where both the limitations and benefits of the forums can come into focus in different ways... i dont think that it is slefish or hypocritical of you to feel sad or upset about it and i also see how you and niqua have supported each other and developed that close rapport - be gentle with you... hugs

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Feeling for you too in this, @outlander. I'm sure this is affecting your heart at the moment. Hugs.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sad news re @Former-Member, @Mazarita. I could see you had/have a special friendship. Really hoping you are able to return in future Niqua.

Hi @Former-Member

I've received the 'statement of position' from my solicitor, 33 pages with 157 pages of attachments so it's taken over my head and my day and I'm at a loss for words at the moment.

Thinking of you all.

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