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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, thank you for your kindness. I would feel similarly if you suddenly left too. At the same time, I understand. But my heart is kicking against that at the moment. That is a massive document that has been assembled on your behalf. No wonder you are feeling overwhelmed at present. Hugs. Thinking of you too. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yes @Mazarita a hurting heart thinking of you too and i really hope one day she can come back or even do smaller pop ins. she has to feel safe though and i hope she can get that safe feeling restored.

hi @Former-Member thinking of you too, i found a teachers thing while i was out exploring a few days back and havent had a chance to upload it but it reminded me of the teachers in here too.

thinking of you too @eththat sounds really overwhelming.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7@Former-Member@Teej@Snowie

@CheerBear these are what i found the other day as well and reminded me of your quirky style only they didnt have rainbow colours just a different colour each pair of socks. sorry about the blurryness

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes @Mazarita I hear you. Go gently. Find a way to remember her well. She was here even before us!

it is sad and unfair and sudden that @Former-Member needs to go.

Someone else posting on the forum had a similar situation and changed their name & avatar, but that may not be enough to make Niqua feel safe to post.

Will miss you to @Bunniekins but you have a busy life and know the best call for you. Glad it is for good reasons that you are leaving.

I actually worried that you were leaving @CheerBear I thought maybe you missed @Phoenix_Rising (as I do) but your connection was much stronger.

@eth WHat an enormour document. I have been putting off looking at my legal things for a while. Dreading such things. Take it in only as you can actually process it. Break it up. Give yourself time.

Very Happy that the social occasion was better for you. It is great and nurturing when we are surrounded by people with like minds.

Cheers ALL

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Feeling sad for you and Niqua @Mazarita, and you also @outlander. I've been thinking about how much it's a flip side of the forum when people we become close with are no longer around for whatever reason that may be. For me it's the not so good part of it, though I understand it comes with the nature of this. I felt the closeness and care you all shared and imagine the sense of loss that may come with it.

Thinking of you @eth. Like Mazarita mentioned, overwhelming comes to mind for me when I imagine that.

Not much I feel ok to say in response @Appleblossom except to say thank you for noticing and acknowledging what you have above.

@outlander thank you for sharing. Very cute and totally my kind of socks (and you sent me on a fun mission around Google looking at them) ☺

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I thought you would like them @CheerBear i thought they were very you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander, @CheerBear, @Appleblossom and everyone, went back to bed after my last post, woke as night was starting to fall. Thanks for the messages. I didn't realise Niqua had been around for such a long time, Apple. I thought she arrived in the past year or two. I don't think I connected with her before that.

Anyway, I just feel weird talking about this now because Niqua may be reading. Niqua, if you are reading, just want you to know that the way I am feeling about this is just a measure of how much you have come to mean to me. Mostly I want the best outcome for you, whatever that may be.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita @Appleblossom @CheerBear @outlander @Former-Member and anyone else around today.

I just want to say I feel the love everyone's expressing.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth that's a good thing hehe 😊 I hope your day is ok today!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth, @Former-Member.

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