FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

6,331 - 6,340 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thinking of you @Appleblossom and sorry to hear the status quo with your daughter. It's really hard to see a relationship break down and be powerless to change it. Lots of love xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @eth

a very complicated situation for all concerned....hormones would be striking every which way..

so very difficult for you to go through all of your child's transition as mum...

I agree wholeheartedly with you Eth...controlling conversation...timing you in first place...then monopolising and going over the time...I think that you did very well in hanging up and lasting as long as you did...you definitely exercised restraint.....

stepping back and looking after you paramount...

good idea for Skype for both yourself and grandchild..

my twin is supposed to make time this week to visit...her suggestion...said am available Tuesday and Thursday..other days have pool and medical appointments..

wednesday afternoon..haven't heard from her...she is off on overseas holiday with friend for five weeks early May..

mum still not wanting to talk to me after twin feeding her with goodness knows what as a result of my standing up to her lifetime of trying to control me...

so family can be the pits..

thanks for thinking of me..

time to get up ..walk around for a bit.. Make some lunch..then lay down again..

have made it to week 4 post op..progress in right direction..

read about the beautiful gift from your brother...

Exquisite comes to mind

💚🌷😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I tried to reach her through contacting her partner's school. She lives with her old english teacher. There was another problem re boundaries. I only have an old email, but she never replies. I have not seen her since my mother's funeral, and before that not for a few years. I am assuming her relationship is alright and that she is alright. I believe that my ex would let me know if there are life threatening issues. She has contact but a distant relationship with him. Her partner's family has a famous name and well to do so she feels she is living with a better class of people. I seem to have done a grieving process for her and let her go. Struggling to keep contact was sheer torture for me (and I think for her). She was also between a rock and a hard place re her bigger half sister's issues. She got far less attention than the older girl, and is a worker and a career woman. I respect many of her ethics. Now I live a quiet life trying to keep emotionally well. Doing all the music helps mediate all my different feelings. I will leave the door open for her. I dont talk about her a lot any more, though I think about her most days.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @Former-Member, @eth, @CheerBear, @Appleblossom, @Bunniekins and everyone on previous and future pages of this discussion thread,

Sure enough I had a marathon all-nighter with video the night before last. Then had only three hours sleep before spending another day doing it too. Went to bed finally at 7.30pm last night. Awake again here at 8.00am. Pretty wrecked and exhausted now, even after that long sleep.

But today I have a physiotherapist appointment around lunchtime and then a psychologist appointment in the afternoon. Need to get myself in the shower this morning and woken up. If I'm not typing here, I'm falling asleep in the chair. So here I am!

Niqua, so glad you are still with us, though I know things are very tricky with your presence here at present.

Eth, I wonder if we'll meet up again in real time this morning.

Cheerbear, hugs for your down feelings, thanks so much for checking in to let us know.

Appleblossom, good morning sister, strength to you for today.

Greenpea, feel like we haven't chatted for ages. Good to see you here.

Hope everyone reading has a better than average day. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Hi Maz all this lack of sleep for you is not good at all is it . Has it always been this way for you or is it adjusting to the new medications? I hope today goes well for you and you dont come home too exhausted. Day two of camping out with my snoring daughter ... yes she snores one of the reasons why my ex and I broke up I hate snoring being such a light sleeper. It is like a form of torture to me.

I have nothing really on except doing some washing before it rains again tomorrow. Yes it rained yesterday when I had all the furniture on the balcony .... can you believe it .... oh well.

Have a great day to @Appleblossom@Sophia1@eth@Teej@Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, are you really camping out? As in, the back yard? Snoring, yes, it's hard to sleep with. I've inherited that unfortunate trait from my father (a most famous snorer amongst his extended family!) Just as well C and I have our separate bedrooms. Even there, he says he can hear me in the night! What a bummer that your furniture got wet in the rain. I need to do washing too, and other domestic stuff I am completely neglecting at the moment. Yes, I've always been a night owl, but I have improved in the past few years. When things are smoothish, I only do it once every week or two. At the moment, with the instability of changing mood stabilisers, I am doing it every second or third night. Psychiatrist confirmed yesterday that I am rapid cycling with bipolar. Hopefully this will resolve soon as the dose of the new med is gradually increased.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Yes I wondered if you were rapid cycling atm. No fun at all. Sorry to hear it. I really hope this new medication does the trick for you. Wouldnt it be great 🙂 Landlord is putting down new flooring and everything in the house where the floating floors are had to be moved so daughter has her bed in my bedroom. It is awful .... funnily enough my pet loves her snoring she often lies down by her bed and listens .... I suppose it is like a kind of purring noise to a cat lol.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Love that your pet loves the sound of your daughter's snoring, that warms my heart, @Bunniekins. Wow, what chaos in the house. I can't stand renovations when I'm living in a rental place. I find it terrible. As usual though, you have a good humoured attitude to it for the most part, it seems.

Actually the rapid cycling here is fun enough when I am on the high. Just that there's a day every two or three when I've been hanging over a void of horrible depression. And (I'm guessing), some mixed states in between (agitation on the inside, lethargy on the outside, if you know what I mean). Painful. Those parts are not fun. But I am on the up and up with my new med now so hopefully things might have settled a bit in the coming weeks.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Yes well I cannot complain at least the landlord is getting the floors fixed it was like walking on a trampoline at times (moral of the story never get cheap floating floors). Oh I miss the rush of being on a high with bp in so many ways.... tell me Maz did you ever get aggressive mood swings? I used to get so angry at times which is most unlike me. I am a very placid person but bp would occasionally do that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, glad for you then that the floors are being fixed, even if temporary chaos is the side effect. I certainly did get aggressive mood swings, a lot of them at certain times in my life. The anti-psychotic medication has been the major help with that. I have been truly horrible to those closest to me at times, greenpea. Hence a broken marriage and quite a number of relationships in my life that mostly all ended because of some bipolar thing or other that I was doing. I am pretty placid in that way too these days for the most part. Thank goodness. I hated myself when I was bad like that.

6,331 - 6,340 of 27,230