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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Sophia1, good to see you here. Sounds like you are in a difficult recovery period, with the added complication of difficult experiences with doctors. I get so frustrated with specialists treating my crohns. I don't have many really good experiences with gastroenterologists at all, over 35 years of treatment. I find with gastros, and I guess a lot of medical specialists in general, their bedside manner often leaves a huge amount to be desired, and it's very frustrating when you can't see the same doctor for continuity of treatment. On the other hand, in both your case and mine it seems, the surgery has been successful. Hugs for what you are going through with a lot of medication changes. They do tend to play havoc with the mental health. Hopefully things will mainly look up for you from here.

@eth, I hope you get some better treatment from your child sooner rather than later. Sorry that this seems to involve you missing out on seeing your grandchild for now.

Just got home from my long excursion out and back on public transport to see my psychiatrist. He confirmed today that I am rapid cycling with my bipolar. He has raised the dose of the mood stabiliser, and he is getting me to raise it again after another two weeks. I've done a little research on this particular med just before coming online here. A clinical report stated that it can be up to several weeks before a truly therapeutic dose of this med is achieved. So probably another three to four weeks of dealing with this rapidly up and down mood situation before the med starts to kick in properly. I will survive it. At best, I am enjoying the highs, especially the creative aspects. At worst, I am hanging over a void of depression, which I then try to sleep off if I can. Looking forward to a time when I am more settled again though.

Well, I hope it's an okay afternoon for everyone here, hopefully better than okay. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry about the rapid cycling. @Mazarita That can be exhausting in its own way.

I had lady nurse appointment today but hooray they have changed the diagnostic tests and I may not have to go back for 5 years if all good.

Good to see you all around @Mazarita @Sophia1 @Teej @Sophia1 @outlander @Faith-and-Hope

Missing a few people on the forums, but also hoping that not posting is due to positive changes in their lives. Or in the least they will develop the resilience they need to flourish and will look back at time on the forum with positive regard.

Have a good day ... whats left of it!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom, that's great about the five year gap, with that test you are talking about it. I think that may be the same for the next one I have. Can't remember when that's due, but my doctor will remind me. She already mentioned that this new test was coming.

That's a beautiful perspective on those missing from the forum.

How was the rest of your day and evening? I've just got home not long ago from an after-dinner visit to my friend. Spent about 2 hours with her. Chatting about life things.

And now the thing I might try tonight is not having an all-nighter.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita @Sophia1 @Appleblossom @Bunniekins and all here today.

Great to see you @Sophia1 and hoping your post-surgery recovery is progressing well. Sorry to hear the medical system is giving you the run around.

Good news for you @Appleblossom congratulations on having a 5 year reprieve.

Sorry to hear about the rapid cycling being confirmed @Mazarita and hoping the med adjustment helps sooner rather than later. Hope you got some sleep overnight and feel its benefits today.

@Bunniekins I haven't seen you lately. Hope things are going ok for you.

So my adult child (transgender @Sophia1 no longer identifies as female - complicated situation with pregnancy and confused hormones) finally rang me yesterday afternoon. I get that they are on a hormonal roller coaster but that doesn't excuse the way they tell me what to do/not do all the time. They said they could only talk for 10 min, talked about themselves and didn't ask me how I was going, and tried to keep talking past the 10 min. As good as it was to have the ice broken, I said goodbye after the 10 min anyway. Yet another controlling conversation and I respected my boundaries I'm planning to have with them. Still, I will try to get a skype with my grand daughter sometime soon.

Typos today : goof morning and beneflits!!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Goof morning and beneflits to you too!! 🙂 yes I havent been around as much as I usually am. I suppose it is because my kidults have been needing me more this past few days which has been keeping me busy. You are sounding in good spirits which is great to 'see'. I have been having tradies around to my place ripping up the old flooring which has been very distruptive to my daughter who likes eveything to be the same lol. I dont mind I think it is rather fun for awhile anyway.

Have a wonderful and restful day eth 🙂 xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins hopefully the tradies will be finished soon and the chaos reduced for your daughter's sake. Have a good one x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Thanks eth. They are like a herd of elephants or like having the zoo outside your door lol. They are okay. You have a great day xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Major renos. Like your attitude @Bunniekins

@Mazarita Last night I went to a carer's group. Hope you slept well. I have been much more settled with night sleep in last year, although I did get up middle of the night last night with my son singing at the top of his voice and I smelled apple pie ...hmmmm .... so said brief hello and ate pie.

You have been through a lot with the gastro. Generally I have been lucky in that department ... just a few odd issues.

@eth The controlling phone calls would be difficult. Yes set your own boundaries.

Sadly my last phone calls from my daughter were all abuse and scolding of me for not knowoing legalities. Those calls were a long time ago. I had no choice but to passively accept, and without a change or willingness from her to work through things, it is probably easier than to be in a rollercoaster relationship. I had hopes with hearing about the Royal Commission that she might come round but nothing yet. So I have to be kind to me and pray she is going fine. She is capable and her partner is capable and well connected. Their grandchildren are not genetically my daughters. Partners IVF. To some degree I have to accept it as part of the crazy world we live in.

In the meantime, through my teaching practise and by being older, and on this site I am becoming far more aware of how out of the norm my experiences have been.

There is no doubt in my mind and being that I love her but I just have to accept.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Major renos. Like your attitude @Bunniekins

@Mazarita Last night I went to a carer's group. Hope you slept well. I have been much more settled with night sleep in last year, although I did get up middle of the night last night with my son singing at the top of his voice and I smelled apple pie ...hmmmm .... so said brief hello and ate pie.

You have been through a lot with the gastro. Generally I have been lucky in that department ... just a few odd issues.

@eth The controlling phone calls would be difficult. Yes set your own boundaries.

Sadly my last phone calls from my daughter were all abuse and scolding of me for not knowoing legalities. Those calls were a long time ago. I had no choice but to passively accept, and without a change or willingness from her to work through things, it is probably easier than to be in a rollercoaster relationship. I had hopes with hearing about the Royal Commission that she might come round but nothing yet. So I have to be kind to me and pray she is going fine. She is capable and her partner is capable and well connected. Their grandchildren are not genetically my daughters. She works fulltime as does partner. They are partners through IVF. To some degree I have to accept it as part of the crazy world we live in.

In the meantime, through my teaching practise and by being older, and on this site I am becoming far more aware of how out of the norm my experiences have been.

There is no doubt in my mind and being that I love her but I just have to accept.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom I always figure it could be worse lol.

Afternoon to @Mazarita@eth@Sophia1@Teej@outlander wishing everyone a kind and relaxing day 🙂

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